assigning blame quote

50 Blame Quotes to Help You Own Up to Your Mistakes

No matter our age, blame has been a part of our lives, so if you want to stop this from affecting you, check out this list of our favorite blame quotes!

In a world where it seems like there’s no room for error, people tend to point fingers at each other quickly. Because of this, we become too afraid to admit our mistakes. In the long run, through blame, we become people who are not accountable and responsible for their actions.

Blame has become a defense mechanism that destroys relationships and worsens the situation. Rather than solving the problem, we get too busy assigning blame, making us unproductive. 

We’ve created this list of quotes to remind you that blame doesn’t fix anything. Remember, the only effective and efficient way to go about things is to take accountability and action to solve the problem!

Check out the complete list below.

And make sure to read these negativity quotes and chaos quotes .

Best Blame Quotes

1. “Focus on fixing the problem, never focus on the blame. Problems are only resolved when solutions are sought.” – Catherine Pulsifer 

2. “Blame is just a lazy person’s way of making sense of chaos.” – Douglas Coupland

3. “Blame is the demonstrated lack of self-respect choosing to deposit one’s negative actions onto others to reinforce one’s view of being of good, fair, and approved.” – Byron R. Pulsifer

4. “Blaming is a characteristic of losers. Winners take responsibility for their lives and make their dreams a reality.” – Anonymous

5. “Blame doesn’t empower you. It keeps you stuck in a place you don’t want to be because you don’t want to make the temporary, but painful decision, to be responsible for the outcome of your own life’s happiness.” – Shannon L. Alder

6. “Blaming is a dead-end street that doesn’t help anyone. But until we risk telling the truth to ourselves about how we really feel, nothing in our lives can change or improve.” – Christiane Northrup

7. “Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.” – Pema Chodron

8. “The trouble with blame is this all or nothingness, this black or whiteness. People are drawn to extremes. As soon as we have to study the gray areas, we lean to one side.” – Sharon Lamb

9. “Blame rings in the ears like the crack of a bell long after it has been silenced.” – Don H. Polston

Blame Quotes That Zoom in on What It Entails

10. “All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” – Wayne Dyer

11. “Blaming is pointing out there, rather than in here, into your own mind, when you find yourself in a painful or uncomfortable experience. Blame means shifting the responsibility for where you are onto someone or something else, rather than accepting responsibility for your role in the experience.” – Iyanla Vanzant

12. “Blame is the granddaddy of the victim’s behaviors. You cannot address problems until you stop blaming others or yourself. Blame is the opposite of problem-solving, even when the content of the blame is justifiable. Blame is the essence of the victim’s experience, and this experience is the basis of immature social behaviors. When you feel like a victim, you pass off responsibility to others for solving your problems, or you attempt to escape.” – James R. Baugh

Short Blame Quotes for Those Who Tend to Point Fingers

13. “When people are lame, they love to blame.” – Robert Kiyosaki 

14. “The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.” – Don Shula

15. “Blame is for God and small children.” – Dustin Hoffman

16. “It’s not how you play the game, it’s how you place the blame.” – Don Simpson

17. “When we blame, we give away our power.” – Greg Anderson

18. “Blame is the lazy man’s wages.” – Danish Proverb

19. “No one is to blame because there is no one other than you.” – Amit Ray

20. “There’s plenty of blame to go around.” – Suzanne Collins

Blame Quotes That’ll Help You Realize That It’s Not Good for You

21. “Blaming does not solve a problem; it usually only makes people defensive.” – Catherine Pulsifer

22. “The blame game is a waste of time. Any time you’re busy fixing blame, you’re wasting energy and not fixing the problem.” – Rick Warren

23. “You have to let it go. You can hold on to the hate and the love and even the bitterness, but you have to go of the blame. The blame is what’s tearing you down, babe.” – Colleen Hoover

24. “As a consequence of what we do wrong or what others do wrong to us, blame and criticism will be attributed. Sometimes this blame might seem just, but other times, it does not. However, no matter how it might appear, blame never undoes what is done.” – Geof Warren

Blame Quotes to Make You More Accountable

25. “Everyone must take responsibility for themselves. Blaming your problems on the world will get you nowhere.” – Claire Shannon

26. “We live in a culture of blame. People will blame anyone or anything for their misery sooner than take the responsibility to own it and make it better.” – Dr. Henry Cloud

27. “It’s always easy to blame someone else or outside forces for our actions. Yet we don’t have the right to blame other people or circumstances for our behavior.” – Joyce Meyer

28. “Stop the blame game. Stop! Stop looking out the window and look in the mirror!” – Eric Thomas

29. “Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.” – Ralph Marston

30. “Live today. Remove all blame from your vocabulary. Catch yourself when you find yourself using your past history as a reason for your failure to act today, and instead say, ‘I am free now to detach myself from what used to be.’” – Wayne Dyer

Blame Quotes That Will Make You Think Twice

31. “Raising fingers at each other will leave everyone without hands.” – Abhijit Naskar

32. “An ignorant person is inclined to blame others for his own misfortune. To blame oneself is proof of progress. But the wise man never has to blame another or himself.” – Epictetus

33. “Blame is the water in which many dreams and relationships drown.” – Steve Maraboli

34. “Praise loudly, blame softly.” – Russian Proverb

35. “When you gain real insight into the human universe, you lose the capacity to blame.” – Abhijit Naskar

36. “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

Blame Quotes to Reconsider Your Decisions

37. “Blame is the number one recipe for disaster in your home! You will not heal if you leave that word in your vocabulary.” – Patrick T. Gorman

38. “We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers—but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault because if you want to change, you’re the one who has got to change.” – Katharine Hepburn 

39. “You become a victim when you blame yourself or others for some problem or error.” – Jay Fiset

Blame Quotes for Better Leadership

40. “If you are looking to inspire people, then blaming is the last thing you want to do. To inspire others, focus your attention on the solution, not the blame. No good comes from blame, good comes from finding a way to correct the situation.” – Kate Summers

41. “If someone is always to blame, if every time something goes wrong someone has to be punished, people quickly stop taking risks. Without risks, there can’t be breakthroughs.” – Peter Diamandis

42. “Blame is not productive. Blame disguises and conceals. Blame alienates and separates. Blame is the killer of community, cooperation, and collaboration.” – Peter Rouse

43. “Going beyond blame enables us to make our systems more resilient, and build more just and humane learning organizations.” – Dave Zwieback

44. “Great leaders don’t rush to blame. They instinctively look for solutions.” – Nina Easton

45. “Blame is fascinating—it shapes our lives. It can be a benign way of positioning ourselves, a gentle joust or banter, or it can be poisonous, hurtful, or devastating for its victims. It can tear apart marriages and fracture work relationships; it can disable major social programs; it can inflict damage on powerful corporations; it can bring down governments; it can start wars and justify genocides.” – Stephen Fineman

More Blame Quotes That’ll Impact Your Thoughts

46. “Accepting blame when it’s not really due sometimes makes the point better.” – Malcolm Forbes

47. “Wherever you find a problem, you will usually find the finger-pointing of blame. Society is addicted to playing the victim.” – Stephen R. Covey

48. “The misattribution of blame is one reason we make the same mistakes over and over again. We learn so little from experience because we often blame the wrong cause.” – Joseph T. Hallinan

49. “Things that are done, it is needless to speak about; things that have had their course, it is needless to remonstrate about; things that are past, it is needless to blame.” – Confucius

50. “Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works.” – John Keats

Have You Played the Blame Game Before?

Part of being human is committing mistakes. While we’re made in the image and likeness of God, we’re not as perfect as He is. Thus, we have flaws and imperfections that remind us we have room for improvement.

It’s about time we normalize owning up to our mistakes and setting them right. After all, these are inevitable, and facing them head-on is the only way to rise above them.

Blaming someone or something doesn’t solve anything. It wastes time and energy and destroys our relationship with the people close to our hearts. If we stop blaming others, the world will become a better place to live!

With that, we hope you were able to find the inspiration to embrace your missteps through this list of blame quotes. Without blame, we’ll be able to save our time, energy, and relationships with others. So, instead of playing the blame game, own up to your mistakes and try to be better people!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen , a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn .

40 Blame Quotes

Let these blame quotesgive you words to think about when you are cirizing, condemn, or charging someone with a wrong doing. We have all heard, don’t blame others for your unhappiness, or, don’t blame others for your mistakes.

“Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it- immediately.” Stephen Covey Wise

60 Blaming Quotes To Stop Playing Blame Game

The act of blaming assigns responsibility for a mistake or wrongdoing to someone else.

Best Blaming Quotes

One of the most common ways of not acknowledging our faults is to blame others. ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.

Human beings sometimes find a kind of pleasure in nursing painful emotions, in blaming themselves without reason or even against reason. ~ Isaac Asimov .

Powerful Blaming Quotes

A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. ~ John Burroughs.

Yes, there are times when something is legitimately not our fault. Blaming others, however, keeps us in a stuck state and is ultimately rough on our own self-esteem. ~ Eric Allenbaugh.

Top Blaming Quotes

We suffer as a result of our own actions; it is unfair to blame anybody for it. ~ Sarada Devi.

Instead of blaming everyone and everything else for your problems, pray for God to help you take an inventory of what’s been on your mind so you can think about what you’ve been thinking about. ~ Joyce Meyer .

Famous Blaming Quotes

Education begins at home. You can’t blame the school for not putting into your child what you don’t put into him. ~ Geoffrey Holder.

Popular Blaming Quotes

Don’t waste time blaming yourself when you can spend time planning how to destroy our enemies. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan.

An irresponsible person is a person who makes vague promises, then breaks his word, blames it on circumstances and expects other people to forgive it. ~ Ayn Rand .

Inspirational Quotes On Blaming

My life motto is ‘Do my best, so that I can’t blame myself for anything.’ ~ Magdalena Neuner.

It’s not exactly fair to make a mistake yourself and then start blaming others for it. ~ Bashar al-Assad.

Profound Blaming Quotes

People who lose money always need someone to blame. ~ James Chanos.

Don’t try to blame the rest of the world. The blame only lies with you. Recognize that immediately. ~ Alan Sugar.

So these were the 60 quotes about Blaming.

Chandan Negi

Related articles, 15 funny quotes about life to inspire you when you’re feeling down, 15 harsh quotes that will hurt like crazy but will make you a better person, 15 quotes that will make you wiser beyond your years, innovation nation: 24 quotes on the power of new ideas.

Blame Quotes Curator

Copied the quote:, blame quotes + their meanings/explanations.

Blame quotes are essential for personal growth and development. Blaming someone else for the problems in one's life can be an easy way out, but it does not help in resolving the issue. Quotes about taking responsibility for one's actions, on the other hand, encourage individuals to face their mistakes and learn from them.

The importance of blame quotes goes beyond just personal growth. In a professional setting, blaming others can lead to a toxic work environment that is detrimental to productivity and employee morale. By promoting accountability through quotes about owning up to mistakes, employees can take ownership of their actions and work together towards finding solutions rather than pointing fingers.

Furthermore, blame quotes also promote empathy and understanding towards others. Instead of immediately jumping to conclusions or assigning fault, individuals can take a step back and try to understand the situation from all perspectives before making any judgments or accusations.

Below are various blame quotes with their meanings/commentaries;

“The pride of man hopes but to blame God for the evils of the world, and to praise himself for the good.” – Criss Jami

The human race has a long history of looking to one another to shoulder the blame for the world’s evils and praising themselves for the good. This is most clearly seen in the pride of man, which believes that it is its own ability, not God’s, that has led to the successes of humanity. Despite this belief, however, man cannot help but search for answers to the problems of the world.

“The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions. It is an exercise in which people assign blame to someone or something else for their own failings or problems. This easy solution allows people to avoid taking personal responsibility, and allows them to avoid facing their own shortcomings. In this way, scapegoating can lead to destructive behavior.

“You are the reason of your own good-luck and bad-luck; success and failure; happiness and pain. Your choices are responsible for your present. Don’t blame someone else for your sufferings or failures.” – Sanjeev Himachali

“Stop blaming other people and circumstances for killing your dreams. The truth is; we tend to talk ourselves out of acting upon our dreams.” – Steve Maraboli

We often find ourselves blaming other people and circumstances for our lack of success in pursuing our dreams. The truth is, we tend to talk ourselves out of acting upon our dreams. The first step is to acknowledgment that we have a dream, and the second step is to take actionable steps to make it a reality.

“Blaming others is nothing more than excusing yourself.” – Robin Sharma

If you find yourself regularly finding excuses to do things that you know are wrong, it might be time to get honest with yourself and admit that blaming others is nothing more than an excuse. Blaming others allows you to avoid taking responsibility for your own actions, and instead shift the blame onto someone else. In the end, this only serves to protect you from making changes in your life, and keeps you stuck in a cycle of negative behavior.

“Blaming is a characteristic of losers. Winners take responsibility for their lives and make their dreams a reality.” – ATGW

Like many traits, blaming can be found in both winners and losers. Winners take responsibility for their lives and make their dreams a reality. They don't point the finger at others when things go wrong and they refuse to live in the past. Losers, on the other hand, blame others for their problems and refuse to take responsibility for their own lives. Instead, they spend their time dwelling on the past and hoping for a different future.

“It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another nor himself.” – Epictetus

No one is exempt from blame; we all have the ability to make choices that impact our own lives. Unfortunately, blaming others for our own problems is a common occurrence. It can be an act of self-protection, an attempt to feel in control, or a symptom of ignorance. The act of becoming informed and accepting responsibility for our actions can be difficult, but it is the first step on the road to change.

“Fault always lies in the same place, my fine babies: with him weak enough to lay blame.” – Stephen King

Fault always lies in the same place, according to my fine babies. They say that if a person is weak enough to lay blame, then they are also weak enough to be susceptible to fault. They advise people to take responsibility for their own actions and not to put blame on others.

“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” – Arnold H. Glasgow

Leadership is often an elusive skill, one that can be difficult to quantify. A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit. This balance is essential to maintaining a healthy and productive team. Leaders must be able to take ownership for their failures but also be able to give credit when it is due.

“To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.” – Hubert Humphrey

In the political world, it's all about taking the blame. Blaming someone else for your own mistakes is a common tactic used by those in power. It allows them to avoid responsibility and protect themselves from criticism.

“There’s nothing kills a man so soon as having nobody to find fault with but himself.” – George Eliot

Something that people often forget is the importance of having someone to look up to and idolize. This can be found in many different forms, such as a role model or hero, but for some, it can come in the form of a favorite author. For many people, reading is one of the most enjoyable activities they can partake in. This is due to the escape that it provides from reality, along with the ability to learn new things and grow as a person.

“The trouble with blame is this all or nothingness, this black or whiteness. People are drawn to extremes. As soon as we have to study the gray areas, we lean to one side.” – Sharon Lamb

There is something about the all or nothingness, the black or whiteness, that we humans seem to gravitate towards. It's a trait we see in our politics, in our everyday conversations, and even in the way we approach blame. When it comes to issues like race, sex, and sexuality, too often we fall into one of two camps: those who think everything is connected and that there is no gray area; or those who think everything is black and white.

“You’ll never get ahead by blaming your problems on other people.” –Willie Nelson

You'll never get ahead by blaming your problems on other people. In fact, you'll only make things worse. Accept responsibility for your own actions and work to improve yourself. Blaming others will only lead to resentment and a lack of trust.

“Blame is the number one recipe for disaster in your home! You will not heal if you leave that word in your vocabulary.” – Patrick T. Gorman

“Focus on fixing the problem, never focus on the blame. Problems are only resolved when solutions are sought.” – Catherine Pulsifer

Problems are only resolved when solutions are sought. This is a fact that many people seem to forget, but it is one that needs to be remembered if we want to see any progress in our lives or in the world around us. Problems are only resolved when we put our focus on fixing the problem and not on blaming someone or something else for the issue. Blaming others will only add to the problem and won't help to resolve it.

“You become a Victim when you blame yourself or others for some problem or error.” – Jay Fiset

Assuming responsibility for our own actions is one of the most important steps we can take to achieving success. However, when we blame ourselves or others for something that went wrong, we often end up becoming a victim. Blaming ourselves leads to depressive thoughts and feelings, while blaming others only makes the problem worse. If you find yourself struggling with negative self-talk or feeling like a victim, it's important to recognize the problem and take action to overcome it.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” – Robert Anthony

The ability to take responsibility for your own life is one of the most important lessons you can learn. Blaming others for your problems not only denies you this power, but it also keeps you from taking the necessary steps to change. When you put the blame on someone or something else, it's easier to stay in your comfort zone. But staying there means that you're not taking responsibility for your own actions and outcomes.

“Blameless people are always the most exasperating.” – George Eliot

There's nothing more frustrating than dealing with people who insist on being blameless. No matter what the situation is, these individuals will always find a way to shift the blame elsewhere. They can be difficult to deal with, and it's often hard to tell when they're actually lying or just trying to put one over on you.

“Blame is not productive. Blame disguises and conceals. Blame alienates and separates. Blame is the killer of community, cooperation, and collaboration.” – Peter Rouse

We often use blame as a way to cope with difficult situations. Blaming others can make us feel better, but it's not always productive. Blame disguises and conceals, alienates and separates, and can even be the killer of community, cooperation, and collaboration. When we blame someone or something, we're less likely to try to find solutions. Instead, we focus on making things worse.

“Blaming others will confine you to a life of mediocrity.” – ATGW

The key to success is often found in the ability to take personal responsibility for one's own actions. However, many people are unwilling to do this because it requires admitting that they are not perfect. This mindset often leads people to blame others for their failures. This habit of self-blame limits people's potential and confines them to a life of mediocrity.

“Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” – Brene Brown

The love that we experience in our lives is something that we cherish, but it can also be fragile. Too often, our love is damaged by things that shame, blame, disrespect, and betrayal do to it. If these injuries are not acknowledged, healed, and rarely experienced again then they can grow and damage the roots from which love grows.

“It’s time to care; it’s time to take responsibility; it’s time to lead; it’s time for a change; it’s time to be true to our greatest self; it’s time to stop blaming others.” - Steve Maraboli

The time has come for all of us to take responsibility for our own lives and to lead by example. It's time for a change, and it's time for us to be true to our greatest selves. We need to stop blaming others for our problems and start taking action on our own behalf. It's time we cared about ourselves and the world around us.

“Great leaders don’t rush to blame. They instinctively look for solutions.” – Nina Easton

Leaders know that rushing to assign blame can often lead to a loss of momentum and ultimately success. They instinctively look for solutions, even if they don't know the answer, in order to move forward. With a little bit of patience and perseverance, leaders can overcome any obstacle.

“Blame is the granddaddy of the victim behaviors. You cannot address problems until you stop blaming others or yourself. Blame is the opposite of problem-solving, even when the content of the blame is justifiable. Blame is the essence of the victim experience, and this experience is the basis of immature social behaviors. When you feel like a victim, you pass off responsibility to others for solving your problems or you attempt to escape.” – James R. Baugh

Problem-solving is the cornerstone of any successful endeavor. When faced with a problem, we must inventory our resources and identify possible solutions. However, when we blame others or ourselves, we lose sight of our goals and become bogged down in our problems. Blaming takes us away from looking at the problem and toward our feelings instead. This type of thinking can lead to inaction and even further problems.

“The job isn’t done until you’ve blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.” – Scott Adams

In the world of work, it s all too common for mistakes to be made. But in order to prevent these mishaps from becoming commonplace, it s important that everyone takes ownership and responsibility for their part in the process. Unfortunately, this isn’t always easy to do. In fact, many people seem to avoid taking on any blame whatsoever- even when their actions led to a problem.

“Some people’s blameless lives are to blame for a good deal.” – Dorothy L. Sayers

There are a number of people who consider their blameless lives to be responsible for a good deal of the world's bad luck. These people believe that because they have never done anything wrong, they must be unlucky. This is not only untrue, but it also causes them to inaction and prevents them from taking any preventative measures to improve their lot in life.

“The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.” – Don Shula

The inferior man blames others for his problems, while the superior man takes full responsibility for his own actions and problems. The inferior man lives in a constant state of fear, while the superior man is confident in himself. The inferior man is always looking for someone to help him, while the superior man does not need anyone's help. The inferior man spends his life trying to be someone he is not, while the superior man lives life to the fullest by being true to himself.

“A bad mood is often the reason for blaming others; but very often blaming others causes bad feelings in us: the more we blame others, the worse we feel.” – Leo Tolstoy

Much has been said about bad moods and how they can be the root of many problems. But often, blaming others is what causes those bad feelings in us. The more we blame others, the worse our mood gets. Blaming others may seem like a way to relieve our negative feelings, but it usually only makes them worse.

“Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility before they place blame.” – Courtney Lynch

Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility before they place blame. They understand that mistakes and shortcomings can be fixed, and that it is important for those beneath them to know that they are held accountable. Leaders take ownership for their actions and are willing to admit when they are wrong, which sets a strong example for their team.

“Take accountability… Blame is the water in which many dreams and relationships drown.” – Steve Maraboli

Taking accountability is one of the most important steps in building healthy relationships. When people are held accountable for their actions, they have a better understanding of what needs to be done in order to fix the problem. Blaming others only leads to more problems down the line. When taking responsibility for our own actions, we can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

“Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.” – Joseph Campbell

Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are the architect of your own happiness or unhappiness. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life and nobody else can make decisions for you. It is up to you to make the best choices you can and live a life of fulfillment.

“Blame is the lazy man’s wages.” – Danish Proverb

In today's society, it seems like one of the main things people rely on to deal with their emotions is blaming others. It's something that can be done quickly and without much effort, which is why it often becomes a way of life. Blaming others can help us to feel better temporarily, but in the long run, it only leads to resentment and anger.

“The dream doesn’t lie in victimization or blame; it lies in hard work, determination and a good education.” – Alphonso Jackson

The dream doesn’t lie in victimization or blame; it lies in hard work, determination, and a good education. These are the three things that will help a person succeed in life. Education is the key to success because it opens up so many opportunities and allows people to be successful in whatever they do. Hard work is also essential to success because if you put your effort into something, you will usually be successful. Finally, if you have a good attitude, you can overcome any obstacle.

“It’s always easy to blame others. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your success and failures are entirely your own responsibility.” – Paulo Coelho

No matter how hard you try, it's always easy to blame others for your problems. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your success and failures are entirely your own responsibility. Blaming others for your problems only makes them bigger and harder to deal with. The only way to overcome them is to take ownership of them and learn from them.

“Never blame another person for your personal choices – you are still the one who must live out the consequences of your choices.” – Caroline Myss

Choosing to do something is a personal responsibility. No one else can make the decision for you. If you choose poorly, there are consequences that you must live with. Blaming others for your mistakes will not help you in any way. You must take ownership of your choices and face the consequences head-on.

“You made your choices to get where you are now in life, stop blaming others for your misfortune and choose wisely next time.” – Leon Brown

No one is responsible for your misfortune but yourself. Blaming others will not change the past, but it will prevent you from making better choices in the future.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” – George Bernard Shaw

Everyone blames their circumstances for the way they are.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the opportunities they want. You have to be willing to work for what you want, and you have to be willing to take risks. If you wait for circumstances to happen, you'll never get what you want.

“Blame rings in the ears like the crack of a bell long after it has been silenced.” – Don H. Polston

The sound of blame ringing in the ears like the crack of a bell long after it has been silenced can be frustrating and damaging. It creates a toxic climate where people feel attacked, misunderstood, and persecuted. Blaming is often a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for our own actions. It's also a way to distance ourselves from others and avoid looking at the reality of our situation.

“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.” – Oprah Winfrey

You're responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is about moving on and learning from your mistakes. Blaming others for our problems won't make them go away, it will only make us feel better temporarily. We have to take ownership of our lives and change the things that are causing us pain. If we don't, then we will continue to be unhappy and unfulfilled.

“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.” – Deepak Chopra

When we blame and criticize others, we are avoiding some truths about ourselves. We may not be handling our own anger or stress effectively, and our criticisms may be unfair. Blaming and criticizing others can also make us feel better in the short-term but it doesn't solve the underlying problem.

“It’s easy to blame others for your situation. It’s much more productive to search your own past and find what caused your faults.” – Anonymous

It's easy to blame others for your situation. It's much more productive to search your own past and find what caused your faults. Blaming others gets you nowhere and only serves to hold you back from achieving your goals. Remember that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but it's how you respond to those mistakes that will determine whether or not you succeed.

“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license. ” – P.J. O’Rourke

People often find it difficult to take responsibility for their own actions, blaming their problems on others instead. This is particularly true when it comes to matters of free will and individual responsibility. It's hard to find someone to blame for your problems, when they seem so uncontrollable. But this difficulty doesn't have to be a permanent fixture in our lives. There are ways to learn how to take responsibility for our own actions, and that's something we can all work on.

“When we assign blame we are pointing the finger to who or what is responsible for a fault or for a wrongdoing. We are trying to make others accountable. Blaming does not solve a problem it usually only makes people defensive.” – Catherine Pulsifer

When something goes wrong, we often assign blame. We point the finger at who or what is responsible for the fault or wrongdoing. Blaming does not solve the problem, it usually only makes it worse. Blaming can cause resentment and anger, which only make matters worse.

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - you can blame anyone, but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault because if you want to change, you’re the one who has got to change. It’s as simple as that, isn’t it?” – Katharine Hepburn

Many people believe that it's never their fault. This is because they've been taught that it's always someone else's fault. This is something that has been ingrained in them from a very young age. However, this isn't always the case. In fact, there are times when it can be very easy to point the finger at others and not take responsibility for our own actions.

“The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there’s only one other choice.” – Doug Larson

The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there's only one other choice. Generations are born, live their lives, and then die. There's no getting around it. But that doesn't mean that generations are completely without blame. People often blame things on the generation before them because there's not really any other choice. This can be especially true when it comes to politics and the economy.

“The absent always bear the blame.” – Dutch Proverb

One of the many things that make life difficult is when people are absent. When somebody is absent, they are not there to help or support you. This can be especially tough when somebody is supposed to be there for you, but is instead gone. This can create a lot of problems and can make life very hard. Unfortunately, this is often how people are treated in the world. People who are absent often bear the blame for everything that goes wrong.

“Blame is just a lazy person’s way of making sense of chaos.” – Douglas Coupland

Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos. It's an easy way to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions, and it allows us to pretend that we can control the world around us. But blaming others doesn't make anything better. It only keeps us stuck in a cycle of pain and suffering.

“There’s enough grief in this world without always getting into whose fault it is.” – Lisa Samson

There's enough grief in this world without always getting into whose fault it is. Too often, we focus on who did what to whom and why things went wrong, instead of looking for ways to move on. Letting go of the blame can be hard, but it's an important step in healing.

“Ownership: ‘A commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame.” – John G. Miller

Ownership is a commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame. It is a way of life for many successful entrepreneurs. For some, it is a natural outgrowth of their passion for fixing things. For others, it is a result of years of experience in the business world. Regardless of the origin, ownership is an invaluable asset to any organization.

“When people are lame, they love to blame.” – Robert Kiyosaki

When people are lame, they love to blame their failures on others. It's easier to say that somebody else is at fault than take ownership of your own shortcomings. Unfortunately, this mentality often leads to bitterness and anger.

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6 important ways to avoid playing the blame game

Updated: Jan 7, 2018

• At the first sign that there’s a problem, set up ground rules for positive, productive TEAM discussions. Explain that you’re not looking to assign blame and that any finger-pointing is forbidden.
• Focus on PRODUCTIVE dialogue, and eliminate accusatory or negative language.
• Get the team to focus on determining WHAT—not WHO—caused the problem.
• Take an approach that centers around FIXING the problem instead of assigning blame for its occurrence.
• Talk about what can be LEARNED from the problem.
• Make sure you discuss how the team can AVOID a repeat of the problem.

2 thoughts on “6 important ways to avoid playing the blame game”

One of my all-time favorite movie exchanges comes from The Lion in Winter, where Peter O’Toole as Henry II bemoans that he could have conquered all of Europe, but “…I had women in my life.” To which Katherine Hepburn as his wife Eleanor chastises him, telling him to “Shoulder it yourself. Don’t put it on my back. Pick it up and carry it. I can. My losses are my work.” It showed strength and personal ownership for all that she’d done – good and bad. If you’ve never seen the movie, it’s definitely a classic, and that scene always echoes in my head whenever I hear someone trying to pass of blame.

I’m a true believer of your posting on blame and responsibility. It has served me good over the period of my career. Thanks for sharing.

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Assigning Blame .

When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

I have questions about the circumstances that effect our lives from day to day in the physical world. All the things outside of the self the good and the bad — who or what is in control of that? I’ve heard some say it’s Karma. Some say it’s fate or it’s destiny. Some say it’s you and only your dream. I am suffering a tremendous loss in my life. It’s not exactly a death, but for some it could be just as painful. Who should I be angry at? Who is responsible for the way things are or the way they turn out? Is it all my fault there is this suffering in life. It would appear something put me on journey to connect with someone very deeply, and has decided to put that to an end. These are just words our ego uses to describe it. But why is god, high power, or the divine intelligence, described as the source of light, peace, love and creation is only found within? When clearly something of a high intelligence unfolds before us in the now, and influences the outcomes of everything outside of us? If everything comes from the same source. That would mean all the darkness, hate, fear, and destruction comes from that same place to. They are all one. They cannot exist without the opposite. How do you put your faith, and live in bliss, when this divine energy shows no remorse or a care to what your, or anyone’s wants, dreams, or needs are? It all seems so indiscriminate. No rhyme or reason. From the football team that wins the big game, to the death of innocent passenger in a car accident. Its purpose is too divine for us to understand, isn’t it?

I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult loss right now. The feelings of sorrow, grief and powerlessness can affect us deeply and make us feel that we live in a random, uncaring universe.

My advice is not to try to analyze yourself out of your grief through concepts of blame, karma, love, caring, destiny and divine purpose. These are grand human notions that we can apply to life, but life itself is what it is, independent of all those labels. Healing your emotional trauma should be your focus, and for that you need a gentle, forgiving approach to yourself and others. Assigning fault and looking for someone to be angry at is a distraction from your real business of repairing the hurt to your heart, and that only prolongs your pain.

Right now the pain holding you in your limited point of view is dictating your reality. Consider the experience of looking into the sky. Standing on a hilltop, the sky is above you and all around you. It seems endlessly open. Now imagine someone who lived the bottom of a very deep well, and their entire experience of the sky was a tiny coin-size disc of light during part of the day. If the two spoke and compared their concepts and feelings about the sky, there would be much disagreement between them, for one it’s very limited, for the other it feels unlimited. But the sky just is what it is—sky.  When the guy in the well begins to climb out of the well, the limitations to his vision diminish and his experience of the sky will necessarily change. He doesn’t need to be intellectually convinced, his actual experience changes his mind.

Similarly it’s not helpful to tell you that life is fair and that you control your destiny in a universe governed by a loving God, when that’s not at all how it feels right now.  As you heal your heart, you will rise up from this proverbial well and life will feel very different. You will open up, expand and connect with the flow of the cosmos you will be able to draw your own conclusions.

As you move forward, I would encourage you to look for the blessings that are there in your life, and let that gratitude be your guiding light.

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Blame Culture Is Toxic. Here’s How to Stop It.

• Michael Timms

Reward accountability and kindness.

At work, we show kindness by doing things like paying someone a compliment with no ulterior motive or holding the door open for a colleague. Now think about the rare occasions when we’re feeling stressed and snap at a coworker or criticize their ideas. Are we still kind?

• It turns out we may not be nearly as kind as we think we are. A study shows that the brain responds more strongly to bad experiences than good ones and that it retains the memory of bad experiences longer. In fact, about five positive experiences are equal to one negative experience.
• While the most destructive behavior in relationships at work may be criticism or stonewalling, the most lethal is blame. We’re naturally hardwired to blame other people when things go wrong. But a bigger challenge is that we don’t realize how often we blame.
• To eliminate blame and promote kindness on your teams, switch your mindset to a learning mindset and openly share mistakes. That way, teammates will be more likely to acknowledge their part in making a mistake, and stop passing the buck. Next, focus on what you can change. Use a systems approach to problem solving. Instead of asking, “Who’s at fault?” ask, “Where did the process break down?”

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Picture this: Your team is racing against time and working weekends to submit a new client proposal. You finally manage to put all the documents together, and just in the nick of time, you press “send.” You take a deep breath and thank the team for their hard work. The proposal looks great and you’re confident that you’ll probably win it.

• Michael Timms is a leadership development consultant , author, and speaker specializing in succession planning and creating accountable cultures. His latest book is How Leaders Can Inspire Accountability .

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What Is the Blame Game?

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Daniel B. Block, MD, is an award-winning, board-certified psychiatrist who operates a private practice in Pennsylvania.

Katleho Seisa / Getty Images

Understanding the Blaming Game

Reasons people play the blame game.

When people are playing the "blame game," it means that everyone is blaming each other for a mistake or problem. Rather than acknowledging individual roles in what might have went wrong, each person tries to pass the blame off onto someone else. It becomes a cycle that avoids responsibility and accountability as people try to protect their reputation and prevent guilt.

At a Glance

The blaming game often stems from a fear of the consequences of a mistake. This might involve pointing fingers at others, denying responsibility, and excluding scapegoats. It creates tension in groups and can damage relationships, but it also harms individuals and organizations. Creating an environment of empathy, having clear roles and responsibilities, and emphasizing solutions are a few ways to help minimize the blaming game.

Picture a classroom where students are working on a group project. The deadline is approaching, but they’re far from finished and the teacher is enquiring about the status of the project.

As the students start to explain themselves, “the blame game” begins. Everyone starts to point fingers at each other and the discussion goes round in circles as they try to avoid the blame and pin it on someone else.

Does this situation seem familiar? Have you experienced something similar, at work perhaps? You’ve probably even watched the blame game unfold on the news when there’s a disaster, and politicians and executives fall all over themselves trying to shift the blame onto everyone but themselves.

“When people face repercussions or unintended consequences after making a mistake , their fear may cause them to defend themselves by shifting the blame away from themselves and onto a scapegoat,” says Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

These are some reasons why people play the blame game, according to Dr. Romanoff.

Avoid Responsibility

People find themselves in this dynamic if they try to detach or distance themselves from culpability when something goes wrong and their position is threatened. They try to avoid responsibility by shifting the blame onto someone else.

Protect Their Reputation

People tend to play the blame game when they fear that owning their mistakes or taking responsibility for an error could negatively impact the way they are perceived.

These people tend to be insecure about their identities and fear that small missteps could become global reflections of who they are, or that they could face catastrophic consequences, like being fired.

Signs of the Blame Game

Sometimes it can be quite evident that someone is trying to shirk responsibility. Other times, it can be more subtle.

Here are some indications that someone is playing the blame game:

• Finger-pointing: People may point fingers at others. For instance, they may say, "Jill was supposed to send me the data for the graphs. I couldn’t make the graphs without that information."
• Denial: People may deny their responsibility. For instance, they may say, "No one told me we needed to include graphs in the presentation, how was I supposed to know?"
• Exclusion: People may consistently exclude or marginalize a member of the group, and then make them the scapegoat when things go wrong.

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Impact of the Blame Game

Playing the blame game is unproductive and can lead to negative consequences all around. Dr. Romanoff explains how it can affect the situation, the people, and organizations involved.

Impact on Situations

Shifting blame onto other people has a two-fold negative effect as it creates tension and resentment in relationships and diverts valuable attention and resources away from addressing the original problem. 

People become defensive and ignite a vicious cycle of passing the buck and attacking each other, instead of banding together as a team to fix the problem through a solution-oriented approach.

Impact on People 

The blame game shapes how you view the world as you will constantly be concerned with avoiding the burden of being accountable for wrongdoing, which takes valuable energy away from forming strong connections with those around you . 

Others are perceived as competitors instead of partners, which causes these folks to be isolated, less well-liked, and mistrusted. In turn, these people create self-fulfilling prophecies , as others will view them as selfish, and be less inclined to help them or advocate on their behalf in the wake of future mistakes, further polarizing them against others.

There is an aspect of righteous indignation when it comes to blame and how it makes others feel dignified in comparison to the person at fault. Blame is a negative experience that can be painful and humiliating for the person who is assigned fault.

Not only does it hurt the person, but it does little good beyond social comparison and diverts vital resources away from the original issue.

Impact on Organizations

Over time, a culture of blame and negativity at an organization can cause the organization to suffer. It can inhibit creativity and innovation, as people are too scared to try things for fear of repercussions if something goes wrong.

It can also cause other stakeholders such as customers and suppliers to lose faith in the organization. For instance, if a customer calls because they have an issue and the response is “That error was made by someone in accounting, we’re the operations team and we can’t do anything about it,” there is bound to be frustration.

A lot of problems may also go unaddressed, because people may be too afraid to report them and face the blame. This can lead to a lot of inefficiency in organizations, as people may find it easier to pretend there aren’t any problems instead.

Impact on Relationships

The blaming game doesn't just happen in the workplace; it also often affects romantic relationships. When someone blames their partner for a problem, that person often becomes defensive .

The result is that they will then defend themselves (which may then escalate the conflict) or shut down (which can result in problems like stonewalling or the silent treatment ). It becomes a cycle that can have a devastating impact on the relationship.

How to Prevent the Blame Game

Blaming is a natural human behavior. When someone bad happens, our first instinct is to figure out who is responsible. The problem is that when we are the ones to blame, our instincts may be to look for a way to avoid the potential consequences. 

Preventing the blaming game should focus on creating a positive, empathetic environment where people don't fear making mistakes. That way, when something does happen, they are more likely to take responsibility, look for solutions, and learn from the experience.

These are some steps that can help prevent a cycle of blame:

Assign Responsibilities

It can be helpful to clearly establish responsibilities so that everyone is aware of what they need to do and what everyone else is doing. This can help reduce ambiguity, leaving less room for people to point fingers at others. It can also help foster a sense of ownership and personal accountability .

Realize That Mistakes are Inevitable

Realize that mistakes are ubiquitous and a part of the human experience; it’s not a question about if, but when we make them, says Dr. Romanoff.

Respond with Empathy

Even if someone has made a mistake, it’s important to view their situation empathetically . Perhaps their child was sick, or they were overworked and missed something. Look for ways to offer them support.

Focus on Solutions

Instead of focusing on who is to blame, it is important to emphasize how to find solutions to the problem. This helps get people out of the blame cycle and focuses their attention on fixing the problem.

The focus should be shifted from who is to blame to what can be done about it. Instead of assigning a person to direct frustration towards, focus your energy on the problem, including ways to correct it and how to prevent it from happening in the future.

Give Helpful Feedback

If people feel like they will be criticized, attacked, or undermined, they are far more likely to blame others when things don't go according to plan. But if they know that they will receive helpful, constructive feedback , they are less likely to try to shift blame elsewhere.

Create a culture where helpful feedback, adequate support, and learning experiences are the norm helps people feel encouraged rather than attacked.

When something goes wrong, it can be tempting to protect yourself and blame somebody else. However, the situation suffers if everyone is more concerned with assigning blame than finding a solution. Playing the blame game can also lead to toxic relationships as people turn against each other and attack one another. 

Instead, promoting personal accountability, openness, a clear division of responsibilities, and a solution-focused approach is more productive.

Lozano EB, Laurent SM. The effect of admitting fault versus shifting blame on expectations for others to do the same .  PLoS One . 2019;14(3):e0213276. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0213276

Davidson JE, Agan DL, Chakedis S, Skrobik Y. Workplace blame and related concepts: An analysis of three case studies .  Chest . 2015;148(2):543-549. doi:10.1378/chest.15-0332

Pickard H. Irrational blame . Analysis . 2013;73(4). doi:10.1093/analys/ant075.

Tigard DW. Taking the blame: appropriate responses to medical error . J Med Ethics . 2019;45(2):101-105. doi:10.1136/medethics-2017-104687

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Breaking the Blame Cycle: Effective Communication Techniques to Avoid Blaming Others

In your workplace and at home you are inevitably tempted to lay the blame on someone for an action or inaction that is unsatisfactory. Laying blame is easy to do and difficult to avoid, especially if you tend to be judgmental. (Just observe Donald Trump in action!)

In the communication profession we are making judgments all the time; we belong to an extremely judgmental profession because almost everything we do is subjective – we make judgments every day on how best to communicate with selected target audiences to change awareness, attitudes, opinions and behavior. Assigning blame or responsibility can follow when things go wrong.

Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations , quotes in her book a sage observation by author Edwin Friedman:

“In any situation, the person who can most accurately describe reality without laying blame will emerge as the leader, whether designated or not.”

Most of us point the finger. Such fault finding invariably provokes people’s defense mechanisms, resulting in defensive and antagonistic responses. Blaming people behind their backs is even more destructive. In the long run it reflects on the person making the aspersion.

If you are talking about outcomes that should have been better, talk about the reality. And talk about your own feelings. Say:

“This is what’s going on for me. I thought you should know.”

In a personal relationship, you can find suitable words to make the following point:

“This is what our relationship looks like and feels to me. I truly want to know your thoughts, especially if they are different from mine. The success of our relationship depends on our ability to understand each other and be truthful to each other.” You can use this in a close working relationship as well.

Above all, as you describe reality from your perspective, don’t lay blame.

Don’t say ‘but’

Here’s one small, simple way to avoid laying blame. Remove the word ‘but’ from your vocabulary and substitute the word ‘and.’ Your words will become much more constructive while still getting the message across.

For instance, instead of saying, “I like what you have done here, but…” you can say, “I like what you have done here, and…” It’s much more positive.

For instance, “I know you wanted more time to complete the project, but the deadline is looming.” you can say, “I know you wanted more time to complete the project, and the deadline is looming.”

Likewise, turn “I’d like to help you, but there’s no easy choice right now” into “I’d like to help you, and there’s no easy choice right now.”

‘But’ always cuts across a statement. Multiple realities are competing and you have to choose one or the other. It means, “Sorry, you lose.”

When you use ‘and’ you are saying “this is true and this is true.” Multiple realities are not competing. They just exist. You and I both own a piece of the truth. Let’s work out what to do.

Try checking your own words during the day. Most people are shocked to discover how often they use the word ‘but’ every day.

Over the next 24 hours, practice describing reality accurately, without laying blame, at home and in your workplace. Whenever you are about to say ‘but’ replace it with ‘and.’

You may struggle with this task; that’s where the learning is – in the struggle. Become good at this and your career will gain momentum. Your relationships will improve at work and home.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash .

Kim Harrison

Kim J. Harrison has authored, edited, coordinated, produced and published the material in the articles and ebooks on this website. He brings his experience in professional communication and business management to provide helpful insights to readers around the world. As he has progressed through his wide-ranging career, his roles have included corporate affairs management; PR consulting; authoring many articles, books and ebooks; running a university PR course; and business management. Kim has received several international media relations awards and a website award. He has been quoted in The New York Times and various other news media, and has held elected positions with his State and National PR Institutes.

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William Shakespeare Quotes About Blame

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O comfort-killing night, image of hell, Dim register and notary of shame, Black stage for tragedies and murders fell, Vast sin-concealing chaos, nurse of blame!

They whose guilt within their bosom lies, imagine every eye beholds their blame.

Every man has his fault, and honesty is his.

We are oft to blame in this, - 'tis too much proved, - that with devotion's visage, and pios action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.

Alas, our frailty is the cause , not we! For, such as we are made of, such we be.

Wrong hath but wrong, and blame the due of blame.

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How the psychology of blame can explain COVID-19 responses: new research

Lecturer in Social Psychology, University of Birmingham

Senior Research Fellow in Nursing and Public Health, Monash University

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The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Monash University provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

University of Birmingham provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation UK.

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Blame is a common strategy in life. It allows us to escape responsibility for mistakes. During a global pandemic, though, placing blame can be a dangerous strategy.

Former US President Donald Trump famously called COVID-19 “ the China virus ” while facing criticism for his pandemic response. In India, members of the governing party blamed an Islamic missionary group for spreading COVID-19. In Australia, blame has been directed at states and the federal government for COVID-19 missteps.

In our recent research , we looked at how people’s social identity affects blame from a psychological perspective, and how group-level blame has affected responses to the pandemic. Understanding the psychology of blame and its effects is a vital step towards improving the international COVID-19 response, and preparing society for a post-COVID world.

Why we blame

Sigmund Freud suggested that blame makes people feel better because it gives us relief. When something goes out of control, assigning blame takes responsibility away from us and puts it in the hands of others.

A new theory of how we blame was set out by a group of US-based researchers in psychology in 2014. The path model of blame looks at how we place blame on certain actions publicly as a way of encouraging people or groups not to behave a certain way. It outlines a series of cognitive steps that we think through in order to allocate blame, including making a judgement on the actor’s intent.

For example, if a government deliberately does nothing in the face of a pandemic as part of a strategy to increase herd immunity, and this results in rapidly climbing case numbers or deaths, then people will blame them. The blame is the result of an intentional choice made by the government.

On the other hand, if the action doesn’t seem to be deliberate, then we look at whether the government (or other potential wrongdoer) caused a problem without meaning to, and if they could have done something to prevent the consequences. For example, if a government doesn’t correctly identify potential supply chain issues, and this leads to a hold-up in vaccine distribution, then that government will often be blamed, but it will be more dependent on the circumstances. In either case, part of the blamers’ intention is to signal that this behaviour is not acceptable.

We have expanded on these ideas. The social groups that people belong to can influence how they allocate blame. Being part of a group gives people a sense of self and makes them feel good – and they aim to protect that as much as possible.

Placing blame elsewhere is a way to maintain that feeling of being good as part of a group. For example, if during his presidency Trump failed to protect the US from COVID-19, this technically violated the “America first” approach that he cultivated . A strong Trump supporter could either accept that Trump and his administration failed, making themselves feel worse about being a Trump supporter, or allocate blame elsewhere, such as to China.

We argue that the social groups we belong to give us the impetus to blame others – and show us where to direct this blame. Blaming another nation for failings over COVID-19 in the US removes responsibility from Trump, maintaining good feelings about being part of the group of his supporters. Trump’s rhetoric on China shows where to place this blame.

Cognition – the path model – shows the reasoning that might be used to place this blame. As a reason to blame China, this hypothetical Trump supporter might suggest either intent – such as “ China deliberately withheld PPE ” – or responsibility without intent (for instance, “ China caused the virus”).

Alternatives to blame

Blame helps solidify the idea of COVID-19 being a problem for someone else, rather than a responsibility issue for all of us. The World Health Organization changed the naming system of COVID-19 variants to avoid the potential adoption of regional names, as naming variants by region likely increases blame and reduces global solidarity.

Blame has hurt the COVID-19 response. Blaming China for COVID-19 in the US is likely to have increased prejudice against Chinese Americans. Placing blame may have made it more difficult for China and the US to work together on responses to the pandemic.

Instead, countries should seek to blame very few and instead praise many for doing the right thing. The best performing countries in the pandemic chose to praise far more than blame.

New Zealand’s approach has consistently won approval for its public messaging around COVID-19. In its approach, thanking the population for doing the right thing helps reinforce a unified, positive identity.

In an ongoing global pandemic, we need to work together. Better understanding the social psychology of blame can improve our pandemic response, and emerge from the pandemic with our social structures intact.

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‘You’re next’: Some Trump supporters blame the media for assassination attempt

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Republicans should not fall into the trap of blaming Democrats after Trump shooting

Opinion: now that we’ve had an assassination attempt in the presidential election, we don’t need more division..

Republicans will be greatly tempted to blame Saturday’s attempted murder of Donald Trump on the Democrats and left-wing media.

They should resist.

Both the liberal party and media for years have depicted Trump as a would-be dictator and tyrant on the cusp of turning America into a fascist state. 

On its June cover, The New Republic merged Trump’s face with Hitler’s and invited writers to imagine what the Trump dictatorship would look like.

On Sept. 1, 2022, Joe Biden lit Philadelphia’s Independence Hall in Nazi two-tone – red and black – and turned the birthplace of our democracy into one of Hitler’s Nuremberg rallies.

Biden warned in that Philadelphia speech that MAGA Republicans “are a threat to our personal rights, to the pursuit of justice, to the rule of law, to the very soul of this country.” 

Yes, he was comparing MAGA Republicans to Hitler’s brown shirts.

You can’t deny Democrats were reckless

Those messages were irresponsible and overwrought, but so is much of the political speech in this country, and it didn’t start with The New Republic and Joe Biden. 

We have long been a nation tightly coiled and eager to burst through the lines of good taste and judgment. Both right and left cross lines all the time.

If America has entered a new period in which political violence grows more common, well, both parties have left a long trail of highly exaggerated and provocative rhetoric.

When a man shot and killed five people at newspaper office in Maryland, Trump was accused of inciting the violence after having called the media the “enemy of the people." But rhetoric didn't kill those people. Bullets did. The gunman's hatred for the newspaper began long before Trump made his comment.

When a crazed gunman fired point blank at people at Tucson supermarket in 2011, severely wounding Gabby Giffords and killing six others, the Democrats blamed the Republicans.

They screamed at Sarah Palin for using gun imagery – rifle sights – on a campaign web page, and they blamed the conservative live-wires on talk radio for inciting the shooter.

They were wrong. 

The right knows what it’s like to be the accused

The shooter was a severely mentally ill young man who disliked Giffords' grammar, which, by the way, was pristine. He was crazy.

Conservatives who have been the targets of these recriminations should learn from such moments and react differently — react in a conservative way. In fact, in that most conservative of ways. 

Blame the shooter.

Whoever pulled the trigger is either evil or seriously cracked and is not representative of the American people. The vast, vast majority of us would never think to do something so vile.

The near miss in the attempted assassination of Trump presents an opportunity to start dialing down that impulse that makes us blame the wicked acts of one person on millions of Americans.

For Democrats, it’s a reminder that Donald Trump is a human being who bleeds real blood. He’s not the Hitler caricature you’ve created in your minds and have now put on the cover of The New Republic. 

We should take heart that rank-and-file Democratic leadership stepped forward after the Trump shooting to express their genuine concern for his well-being and to condemn the violence.

Responsible Democrat leaders speak out

 “ Horrified by this apparent assassination attempt. ... Wishing President Trump a swift recovery."

— U.S. Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif.

“ I thank God that former President Trump is safe.”

— Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi .

"Lori and I are praying for President Trump, the Secret Service officers who protected him, those attending the event, and all of the first responders still on the scene.”

- Josh Shapiro, Democratic governor of Pennsylvania

"There is absolutely no place for political violence in our democracy. ...We should all be relieved that former President Trump wasn’t seriously hurt and use this moment to recommit ourselves to civility and respect in our politics. Michelle and I are wishing him a quick recovery."

-- Barack Obama, former U.S. president

I might reject their politics, but I recognize something American in their response. They make me proud they’re my countrymen.

On the right, I am warmed by the comment of an old friend — Zuhdi Jasser, an Arizona Republican candidate for Congress and one of the bravest men I know.

A devout Muslim, Jasser became a leading U.S. reformer of Islam after 9/11 — making himself the target of fierce and even dangerous backlash.

After news of the Trump shooting broke, Jasser tweeted out on the social media platform X, “This moment should remind us to listen to one another and to call on the better angels of our nature and come together as Americans.”

If Republicans are in doubt how they should respond to this shooting, do as Zuhdi Jasser has done.

Lead with grace.

Phil Boas is an editorial columnist for The Arizona Republic. Email him at [email protected]. 

MAGA World Claims ‘Biden Sent The Orders’ For Trump To Be Shot

The republican presidential candidate had blood on his face after reports of a shooting at a rally in butler, pennsylvania., share the post, share this link via, or copy link.

Republican presidential candidate former President Donald Trump pumps his fist as he is rushed into a car at a rally on July 13, 2024, in Butler, Pennsylvania. | Source: Anna Moneymaker / Getty

M AGA World and conservative political operatives are reacting to reports that Donald Trump got shot at a rally Saturday in Pennsylvania in part by claiming President Joe Biden was responsible for the violence.

Case and point: Republican Georgia Congressman Mike Collins declared on X, formerly Twitter, that “Joe Biden sent the orders.”

MORE: Photos Show Blood On Trump’s Face After Shots Reported At Pennsylvania Rally

Collins’ post quoted another post from “Conservative communicator” Steve Guest who purported to quote Biden from earlier this month when the president allegedly said, “We’re done talking about the debate, it’s time to put Trump in a bullseye.”

Law enforcement did not immediately assign blame for the reported shooting, which has not been officially confirmed as a shooting.

News organizations have been reporting that Trump was being treated at a local medical facility following what sounded like gunshots.

Photos showed blood on Trump’s face as he was rushed from the stage by U.S. Secret Service agents.

As many as 50,000 people were in attendance at the rally held in a Pittsburgh suburb.

TMZ reported  that Trump was definitely “shot and injured” and was taken to an unspecified local medical center.

The New York Times reported  that Trump was “safe” after the reported gunshots.

“Trump’s ear appeared to be bleeding as he was rushed off the stage,” the Times reported.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Secret Service would only confirm to the Times that an “incident” took place but did not formally confirm there were gunshots.

There were no immediate reports of a suspect or suspects in the alleged shooting.

It’s on-brand for MAGA World to try to politically capitalize on the apparent political violence.

And it’s no surprise that Collins would be among the first such voices to do so.

After all, it was only in May when Collins publicly defended white University of Mississippi students who taunted a Black student activist with racist slurs and gestures.

In that case, Collins also took to X suggested the racist encounter was simply a case of “Ole Miss taking care of business.”

Aside from Collins and Guest’s posts, there is also other evidence on social media that the incident has invigorated Trump’s base of supporters.

The reported shooting comes after MAGA conservatives and surrogates for Trump’s campaign have appeared to use rhetoric inciting  political violence  during this election cycle.

Last September, former Arkansas Gov.  Mike Huckabee  warned that future elections will be decided at gunpoint.

“Do you know how political opponents to those in power are dealt with in third-world dictatorships, banana republics and communist regimes?” Huckabee asked his audience rhetorically at a taping of his “Huckabee” show. “Well, it’s simple. People in power use their police agencies to arrest their opponents for made-up crimes in an attempt to discredit them, bankrupt them, imprison them, exile them, or all of the above.”

Huckabee continued: “And if you’re not paying attention, you may not realize that Joe Biden is using exactly those tactics to make sure Donald Trump is not his opponent in 2024. Here’s the problem: if these tactics end up working to keep Trump from winning or even running in 2024, it is going to be the last American election decided by ballots rather than bullets.”

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Melania Trump issues powerful statement after assassination attempt

Former First Lady Melania Trump, in a powerful statement Sunday , called on Americans to “ascend above the hate, the vitriol, and the simple-minded ideas that ignite violence” after an assassination attempt on her husband, former President Donald Trump.

Melania Trump thanked the U.S. Secret Service agents for protecting the former president and offered her sincerest sympathy to the victims who were shot at the rally. One spectator died, while two remain seriously injured.

“When I watched that violent bullet strike my husband, Donald, I realized my life, and Barron's life, were on the brink of devastating change,” she wrote in a statement.

More: Trump says 'God alone' spared him after brazen rally shooting: Live updates

The former first lady went on to criticize the “monster” who attempted the assassination, adding that Donald Trump has been labeled “an inhuman political machine.” The shooter, identified as 20-year-old Thomas Crooks , is dead. 

“A monster who recognized my husband as an inhuman political machine attempted to ring out Donald's passion - his laughter, ingenuity, love of music, and inspiration,” Melania Trump wrote. “The core facets of my husband's life - his human side - were buried below the political machine. Donald, the generous and caring man who I have been with through the best of times and the worst of times.”

Trump called on Americans to transcend politics and emphasized that “love, compassion, kindness and empathy are necessities.” She added that the world can return to a place that ascends "the hate, the vitriol, and the simple-minded ideas that ignite violence."

"The winds of change have arrived," Trump said. "For those of you who cry in support, I thank you. I commend those of you who have reached out beyond the political divide - thank you for remembering that every single politician is a man or a woman with a loving family."

Long Island elected leaders, citizens react with outrage, concern after Trump assassination attempt

This story was reported by Matthew Chayes , Vera Chinese , Joshua Needelman , Grant Parpan and Drew Scott . It was written by Parpan.

Long Islanders, from elected leaders to everyday citizens, spent Sunday like millions others nationwide: feeling outraged and stunned by an assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, and condemning “political violence” and polarizing rhetoric.

Congressmembers representing the Island from both sides of the aisle united in their concerns, mostly steering clear of more heated political language as new information about Saturday's shooting continued to emerge.

“[I hope] that we can go up from here, that we can understand each other better, and that we can focus more on policy disagreements, rather than people and personalities,” Republican 1st Congressional District Rep. Nick LaLota told Newsday on Sunday.

The gunman, later killed by a Secret Service sharp shooter, opened fire just after 6 p.m. Saturday at the Butler, Pennsylvania rally. One spectator was shot and killed and two others were critically wounded. Trump later posted on social media that a bullet had pierced his right ear. 

LaLota said he was at dinner with family Saturday night when he received word of the assassination attempt, describing it as “troubling news to digest.”

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He initially took to social media with sharp criticism of the “mainstream media” over its recent coverage of President Joe Biden's comment that it was time “to put Trump in a bull's-eye.”

LaLota on Sunday said it was time for something else: a “change in the rhetoric.”

"[It's] difficult news to deliver to young kids, that this is a part of American politics,” he said. “This is not normal. This should not be accepted. Every American, regardless of the party, Republican, Democrat, independent, should reject not only yesterday's events, but what got us here.”

Rep. Tom Suozzi (D-Glen Cove) called it a “very sad time in American history” in an interview Sunday.

Concern over 'rhetoric'

“Our condolences to the people that were injured and the man that was killed in their family, but I think everybody's scared, everybody's worried,” Suozzi said. “Everybody's like, 'What's happening in our country.' ”

Suozzi said the message now has to be about coming together.

“Stop with the rhetoric, stop with the hyperbole, stop with the histrionics,” he said. “We can disagree with each other, but we don't have to hold each other in contempt.”

On the Long Beach boardwalk Sunday afternoon, Justin Kuperschmid, 27, agreed.

Kuperschmid told Newsday he usually avoids paying much attention to politics but the attempted assassination of Trump left him lamenting the state of the country in 2024.

“We’re supposed to be the United States, not the divided states,” said the Long Beach resident. “When Barack Obama was in office, I feel like everyone had more respect for each other, but it feels like everyone is going at each other’s throats. I just don’t think that’s right. That’s not how our country should be.”

Kuperschmid said he hopes both the former president and the current commander in chief step up security as their campaigns continue.

“No matter if someone’s not a fan of somebody,” he added, “it’s not the right thing to go as far as to cause violence.”

Darlene Metz, 55, a Hewlett resident and teacher in Suffolk County, condemned the attempt but was less than surprised.

Metz said she’s seen the rise in national political polarization reflected in her students in recent years.

“It’s us against them in lots of things,” Metz, 55, said. “Parents were much more on board with us and working together, and now I feel this polarization. I think it’s just a societal thing that’s happened, too, and it hasn’t helped with what’s happened in the last four to eight years.” 

Echoes of the past

Fred Cohen, 72, said he was also disturbed, and also not surprised by Saturday's shooting.

Cohen had been driving on Long Beach Road in Oceanside Saturday night listening to Trump’s speech on the radio when he heard what initially sounded like “firecrackers.” 

As he realized the former and possibly future president had been shot, the Oceanside resident said his mind went back to 1968. Cohen said he was a high school senior doing field work for Democratic presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy when the U.S. Senator from New York was cut down by an assassin's bullet inside a Los Angeles hotel. 

“Same horror that I felt then, I felt now,” Cohen said on the Long Beach boardwalk Sunday.

“After John Kennedy was assassinated,” he said, “I never thought that Robert Kennedy would be assassinated. Now, I was not shocked by the attempt on Trump’s life.”

In a statement, Republican Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman, who stood at Trump’s side in March for the Massapequa Park funeral of slain NYPD officer Jonathan Diller, called the former president his friend and the “most resilient person I’ve ever met.”

“He will recover and come back stronger,” Blakeman said of Trump, who is set to receive the nomination for president at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee this week.

Rep. Anthony D’Esposito (R-Island Park,) who represents New York's 4th Congressional District, was traveling to the convention Sunday. In social media remarks Saturday, he called the shooting “deeply concerning.” He praised law enforcement and Secret Service who “ran toward danger.”

No time for violence

LaLota’s opponent in the upcoming election, Jon Avlon, and fellow Democratic congressional hopefuls Laura Gillen and Rob Lubin, each said political violence has “no place” in the U.S.

“We must unequivocally condemn today's act of violence,” Lubin wrote on X.

Rep. Andrew Garbarino (R-Bayport), who Lubin is challenging for the 2nd Congressional District seat, wrote on the same platform Saturday that he was glad to hear Trump is safe following “this horrendous act of political violence.” 

“Praying for him and those in the crowd tonight and I thank Secret Service for their quick response to the attack,” the congressman wrote.

 At New York city hall late Sunday afternoon, Mayor Eric Adams appeared at a “Call for Unity” rally with a Republican city councilman, a rabbi, an imam, the Rev. Al Sharpton and an activist in a jump suit bearing the words “PEACE DOCTOR.”

“We in no way condone or support any violence against him, his family or his supporters,” Sharpton said of the former president.

“Violence is wrong, no matter who you oppose,” Sharpton said. “We cannot settle our political differences with bullets. We settle them with ballots.”

Adams said: “We must start the process of healing not only our country but healing our young people. We will move our country in the right direction. It starts with us.”

City Councilman Joe Borelli of Staten Island, an avowed Trump-supporting Republican and the chamber’s minority leader, said: “The rhetoric has got to cool.”

Increased police patrols were being deployed to certain sites around New York City, Adams' office said. No damage had been reported at any Trump properties in the city.

Suffolk County Executive Ed Romaine said his office is also monitoring threats in the area and that none had been reported so far. Romaine condemned “hatred and acts of violence” against elected officials or candidates for office “regardless of political affiliation.”

“As Americans, we stand united on the principals that make our country strong,” Romaine said.

Unearthing a suspect: The Gilgo Beach killings NewsdayTV goes behind the scenes of the Gilgo Beach investigation, revealing the shocking findings in the year since the arrest of Rex Heuermann. NewsdayTV's Ken Buffa reports.

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Forgiveness

Assigning blame, when is it reasonable and appropriate to point fingers.

Posted April 4, 2019

One of the unfortunate ways many people have of addressing a negative situation is to identify the person allegedly responsible for the situation so that blame can be assigned. I find this to be a most unfortunate impulse, since so many life situations that occur do not require, nor do they benefit from, the identification of a culprit by a blame-focused individual.

Many people report having grown up in a "blaming environment" or a "blame-oriented emotional atmosphere." This suggests a parental or family focus on discovering the culprit involved in wrongdoing so that he or she can be punished for the transgression committed. There are times, no doubt, when this is necessary and appropriate; occasions where a wrongdoer must be identified and attended to. Examples might include such occasions where carelessness leads to a dangerous situation.

There are times, however, when a situation does not require the identification of the offender, particularly when the offense is inconsequential and could be handled by the person discovering the offending act. One patient reported his childhood home atmosphere as one in which any minor infraction—leaving a room without turning off the light, leaving the cap off the toothpaste tube, or forgetting to put a dish in the dishwasher—would lead to a "parental witch hunt" for the responsible culprit. Often, an environment like this one breeds a blame mentality wherein many behaviors are viewed as justifying criticism and punishment .

Blaming is an unfortunate occurrence often observed when working with couples. At times, one member of the relationship is perceived—rightly or wrongly—as "guilty" of some wrongdoing and, therefore, deserving of blame for the alleged offense. One problem with blaming is that it tends to undermine what otherwise might be constructive communication that could lead to better understanding and meaningful change. Another common problem is that the blamer often avoids a necessary self-examination to determine his or her own responsibility for a problem or wrongdoing.

When Paul blamed his wife, Martha, for his sexual affair with a colleague, he felt justified and managed to absolve himself of any responsibility for his transgression. "It's what guys often do when they're not being satisfied at home," he asserted with self-righteous indignation. The first time he was helped to look at his own responsibility for his behavior was when he was asked to ponder the question of why not everyone chooses to handle that problem by having an affair. The purpose here was not simply to shift blame on the person whose behavior impaired the marriage . It was to have Paul take responsibility for his own actions and not blame Martha, thereby justifying his own unacceptable behavior and absolving himself of any wrongdoing.

With help, Paul was able to examine his motivation for his extramarital affair. He discovered that he had actually used his dissatisfaction in his marriage to justify doing something that he wanted to do anyway and might well have done regardless of whether or not he was or was not a satisfied husband.

Another consequence of what I call a blaming mentality is self-blame, especially when there appears to be little or no justification for it. Many people rush to judgment against themselves without a full examination of the justification for such self-indictment. This propels them into significant emotional distress and often requires professional help.

There are certain circumstances and occasions when leveling blame at someone else or oneself is fitting and reasonable. One needs to be very careful to differentiate between justifiable and unjustifiable blaming, as well as to have a reasonably forgiving attitude when this may be the appropriate response.

Richard B. Joelson, DSW, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City who has been an administrator, educator, and author in the field of mental health for many years.

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