assignment on verbal and nonverbal communication

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Nonverbal Communication

Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication.

There are four fundamental differences between verbal and nonverbal communication. The first difference between verbal and nonverbal communication is that we use a single channel (words) when we communicate verbally versus multiple channels  when we communicate nonverbally. Try this exercise! Say your first and last name at the same time. You quickly find that this is an impossible task. Now, pat the top of your head with your right hand, wave with your left hand, smile, shrug your shoulders, and chew gum at the same time. While goofy and awkward, our ability to do this demonstrates how we use multiple nonverbal channels simultaneously to communicate.

In the previous chapter, we learned how difficult it can be to decode a sender’s single verbal message due to the arbitrary, abstract, and ambiguous nature of language. But, think how much more difficult it is to decode the even more ambiguous and multiple nonverbal signals we take in like eye contact, facial expressions, body movements, clothing, personal artifacts, and tone of voice all at the same time. Despite this difficulty, Motley found that we learn to decode nonverbal communication as babies. Hall found that women are much better than men at accurately interpreting the many nonverbal cues we send and receive (Gore). How we interpret these nonverbal signals can also be influenced by our gender as the viewer.

A second difference between verbal and nonverbal communication is that verbal communication is  distinct (linear) while nonverbal communication is  continuous (in constant motion and relative to context). Distinct means that messages have a clear beginning and end, and are expressed in a linear fashion. We begin and end words and sentences in a linear way to make it easier for others to follow and understand. If you pronounce the word “cat” you begin with the letter “C” and proceed to finish with “T.” Continuous means that messages are ongoing and work in relation to other nonverbal and verbal cues. Think about the difference between analog and digital clocks. The analog clock represents nonverbal communication in that we generate meaning by considering the relationship of the different arms to each another (context). Also, the clock’s arms are in continuous motion. We notice the speed of their movement, their position in the circle and to each other, and their relationship with the environment (is it day or night?).

Nonverbal communication is similar in that we evaluate nonverbal cues in relation to one another and consider the context of the situation. Suppose you see your friend in the distance. She approaches, waves, smiles, and says “hello.” To interpret the meaning of this, you focus on the wave, smile, tone of voice, her approaching movement, and the verbal message. You might also consider the time of day, if there is a pressing need to get to class, etc.

What might this driver be trying to convey?

Now contrast this to a digital clock, which functions like verbal communication. Unlike an analog clock, a digital clock is not in constant motion. Instead, it replaces one number with another to display time (its message). A digital clock uses one distinct channel (numbers) in a linear fashion. When we use verbal communication, we do so like the digital clock. We say one word at a time, in a linear fashion, to express meaning.

A third difference between verbal and nonverbal communication is that we use verbal communication  consciously while we generally use nonverbal communication  unconsciously . Conscious communication means that we think about our verbal communication before we communicate. Unconscious communication means that we do not think about every nonverbal message we communicate. If you ever heard the statement as a child, “Think before you speak” you were being told a fundamental principle of verbal communication. Realistically, it’s nearly impossible not to think before we speak. When we speak, we do so consciously and intentionally. In contrast, when something funny happens, you probably do not think, “Okay, I’m going to smile and laugh right now.” Instead, you react unconsciously, displaying your emotions through these nonverbal behaviors. Nonverbal communication can occur as unconscious reactions to situations. We are not claiming that all nonverbal communication is unconscious. At times we certainly make conscious choices to use or withhold nonverbal communication to share meaning. Angry drivers use many conscious nonverbal expressions to communicate to other drivers! In a job interview you are making conscious decisions about your wardrobe, posture, and eye contact.

Case In Point

Body language expert and author, Vanessa Van Edwards reveals some interesting facts about body language in western culture in an interview with AM Northwest Today on September 18, 2013. She explains that men are not as good at reading body language cues as women because they use different areas of their brain when decoding. She states, “women might be better at reading body language because … [they] have 14 to 16 active brain areas while evaluating others, whereas men only have 4 to 6 active.” Edwards also explains how men and women nonverbally lie differently because they tend to lie for different reasons; “Men lie to appear more powerful, interesting, and successful, … [whereas] women lie … more to protect others feelings.” To learn more about differences in female and male body language you can read the full article and  watch the video .

A fourth difference between verbal and nonverbal communication is that some nonverbal communication is universal (Hall, Chia, and Wang; Tracy & Robins). Verbal communication is exclusive to the users of a particular language dialect, whereas some nonverbal communication is recognized across cultures. Although cultures most certainly have particular meanings and uses for nonverbal communication, there are universal nonverbal behaviors that almost everyone recognizes. For instance, people around the world recognize and use expressions such as smiles, frowns, and the pointing of a finger at an object. Note: Not all nonverbal gestures are universal! For example, if you travel to different regions of the world, find out what is appropriate! For example, if you go to South Korea don’t offer payment with only one hand.

Let us sum up the ways in which nonverbal communication is unique:

• Nonverbal communication uses multiple channels simultaneously.
• Nonverbal communication is continuous.
• Nonverbal communication can be both conscious and unconscious.
• Certain nonverbal communication is universally understood.

Now that you have a definition of nonverbal communication, and can identify the primary differences between verbal and nonverbal communication, let’s examine what counts as nonverbal communication. In this next section, we show you eight types of nonverbal communication we use regularly: kinesics, haptics, appearance, proxemics, environment, chronemics, paralanguage, and silence.

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Verbal Vs Non-Verbal Communication With Examples

Smith was well prepared for the oratorical competition. He was confident that he wouldn’t miss a word or even a comma during his speech. He felt that practice would help him win the competition and so he practised well. On the day of the competition, he woke up with excitement knowing that he will be coming back home with a trophy bigger than him in size.

It was time for his speech and as he believed, he didn’t miss a word or even a comma. He knew he was going to win. The results were out and he finds out that the results were contrary to his expectation. What could’ve happened?

When he asked for feedback from his friends, he learnt that he only said the content out of his memory but he didn’t actually deliver a speech. Technically, although his speech had a lot of sound verbal content, his non-verbal information was missing altogether.

Therefore it created an impression of just pouring out well by hearted information from memory without adding any effect to it. To the judges it felt like a well-cooked chicken without seasoning. It was bland and flavorless.

What Are Verbal And Non-Verbal Communication?

Verbal communication refers to the process of communicating through the use of words, sentences and language. Non-verbal communication refers to the process of communicating information through body language , facial expressions , eye contact, intonations, artefacts etc.

During most instances, we communicate using a combination of both verbal and non-verbal communication. However during some instances, one might dominate the other or one might just be the sole medium of communication.

Which Are The Instances Where Verbal And Non-Verbal Communication Are Used Simultaneously?

As mentioned earlier, both types of communication are used together, and this happens deliberately or instinctively. However, we consciously mix the use of these two types of communication for a few reasons:

• When we wish to emphasize a point, we couple our verbal content with non-verbal gestures.
• To facilitate easy comprehension on the part of the listener, we use verbal and non-verbal information at once. For example, if the listener faces language barriers or if they have hearing impairment or any other psychological or physiological issues, people use hand gestures and body movements along with verbal information.
• We also use both types of communication when we want the former and latter to complement each other.

Studies focusing on the similarities between verbal and non-verbal communication show that there is an intrinsic relationship existing between the two. There seems to be a strong link between lexical access (the ability to find the right words to use) and gestures when talking. They seem to help each other establish themselves.

For example, using gestures can help in lexical access and vice versa. Research also reveals that when speaking halts, so do gestures. They are interwoven with each other and complement each other efficiently.

What Are The Differences Between Verbal And Non-Verbal Communication?

The differences between verbal and non-verbal communication can be discussed based on many different criteria/parameters of communication.

Point a and b represent Verbal and Non-verbal types of communication respectively.

1. medium of communication:.

a. Verbal: Use of words and languages. Oral communication and written communication.

b. Non-Verbal: Absence of words or language. Expressed through body movements, gestures, facial expressions, silence, space, touch, smell etc.

In the earlier example of Smith, he delivered his speech only using verbal information and the lack of non-verbal cues in his speech made it sound like a mere recitation of what he had memorized earlier.

2. Consciousness Of The Message Sent:

a. Verbal: Exchange of messages occur consciously

b. Non-Verbal: Non-verbal body cues may occur alone or along with verbal communication. Normally expressed using body and hand gestures voluntarily or involuntarily motions.

In most cases, we say things only when we want to say those things. But we don’t necessarily plan on doing specific body gestures or moving our eyes towards a particular direction when communicating.

3. Direct And Indirect Messages:

a. Verbal: Since the messages are expressed in words, it is easy to decode verbal information than non-verbal information.

But sometimes even verbal messages can turn out to be indirect or vague depending on how a sentence is framed.

b. Non-Verbal: Non-verbal bodily cues alone can never bring out the direct meaning of the messages.

When Jaden proposed to Fiona, she walked away with a smile. This made him confused and made him wonder what could exactly be the meaning behind that smile. He felt that if she’d told him something in return, it would’ve saved him the agony and anxiety.

4. Decoding The Message:

a. Verbal: In the case of verbal content, it is easy to decode the meaning behind it.

b. Non-Verbal: Decoding the bodily cues is a bit difficult, since a single gesture or a minute facial expression may hold many different meanings behind it.

For e.g. When Kelly screamed “thief”, Taylor immediately turned around and pinned the thief to the ground. But if Kelly had just looked at Taylor with a shocked facial expression mixed with fear, he may not have understood the meaning behind it right away.

5. Mode Of Communication:

a. Verbal: Verbal communication occurs in a written and oral format. Writing e-mails, letters and SMS includes written messages. Whereas oral communication denotes our speech and interaction with others.

b. Non-Verbal: Non-verbal messages could be transferred through various modes such as visual, aural, spatial proximity and gestural including facial expressions, eye movements, body postures and movements, etc. Most importantly a firm handshake, a state of silence counts even.

6. Time Consumption:

a. Verbal: It is quite easy to conclude that sharing information verbally is less time-consuming. The meanings behind verbal messages are straightforward and do not need further understanding.

b. Non-Verbal: Sharing information using gestures and other non-verbal cues is more time-consuming than the former. A single non-verbal message may hold many potential interpretations and needs further knowledge of the true intention of the message conveyed. So a person must understand the mood, situation and context of the message delivered. Obviously, it’s time-consuming.

In the previous example of Kelly and Taylor, the thief was easily fought off by Taylor because Kelly verbally informed him about a thief standing behind him. If she’d tried making gestures and facial expressions, it would’ve easily taken more time for Taylor to successfully interpret the message accurately.

7. Physical Presence:

a. Verbal: With the advancements in technology, today verbal messages could easily be transmitted across the globe within a matter of seconds. Therefore verbal communication transcends the boundaries of space and time.

b. Non-Verbal: However, non-verbal communication would require the physical presence of the person sending in the message. Although physical presence is a prerequisite for non-verbal communication, technology has bridged that gap to a certain extent as well.

Through the use of video-conferencing, people can see each other although they are seated at two opposite poles of the world. This gives room for non-verbal communication to take place.

Even in the case of texting, the novel usage of emoticons replicates non-verbal communication to a certain extent which can be used to interpret the emotions and thoughts lying behind a person’s message.

Salient Features Of Verbal Communication

• Verbal communication is the process of interacting using words, sentences and language through the only medium available i.e. talking.
• In recent times, verbal communication can also be done through e-mails and text messages.
• A good verbal communicator is highly influential as they connect themselves well with the audience.
• Although words and sentences have one literal meaning all around the world, they may differ due to cultural differences. For example, the British use the phrase “I am chuffed to bits” which they mean to imply “I am very pleased”.
• When verbal communication happens with others it is called “ interpersonal communication ” and when it happens with oneself it is called “intrapersonal communication”.
• Verbal communication has better scope for clarity and precision in the message passed across compared to non-verbal communication.

Salient Features Of Non-Verbal Communication

• When interaction takes place between individuals in the absence of language and the presence of body movements, facial expressions, gestures, eye movements etc. it is known as non-verbal communication.
• Non-verbal communication happens through a wide array of behaviors, unlike verbal communication which takes place only through talking.
• Non-verbal communication is continuous and impressionistic.
• During conversations, non-verbal information holds more salience than verbal information.
• It is not perceived discreetly but rather as a bunch of cues. For example, a person who is surprised would deliver not just one cue but many at once such as raised eyebrows, dilated pupils, open mouth, hands to the mouth, face or the chest and sometimes even a flushed face.
• Non-verbal information is indirect and open to an array of interpretations.

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11.1 Principles of Nonverbal Communication

Learning objectives.

• Demonstrate nonverbal communication and describe its role in the communication process.
• Understand and explain the principles of nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal Communication Is Fluid

Chances are you have had many experiences where words were misunderstood, or where the meaning of words was unclear. When it comes to nonverbal communication, meaning is even harder to discern. We can sometimes tell what people are communicating through their nonverbal communication, but there is no foolproof “dictionary” of how to interpret nonverbal messages. Nonverbal communication is the process of conveying a message without the use of words. It can include gestures and facial expressions, tone of voice, timing, posture and where you stand as you communicate. It can help or hinder the clear understanding of your message, but it doesn’t reveal (and can even mask) what you are really thinking. Nonverbal communication is far from simple, and its complexity makes our study and our understanding a worthy but challenging goal.

Where does a wink start and a nod end? Nonverbal communication involves the entire body, the space it occupies and dominates, the time it interacts, and not only what is not said, but how it is not said. Confused? Try to focus on just one element of nonverbal communication and it will soon get lost among all the other stimuli. Let’s consider eye contact. What does it mean by itself without context, chin position, or eyebrows to flag interest or signal a threat? Nonverbal action flows almost seamlessly from one to the next, making it a challenge to interpret one element, or even a series of elements.

We perceive time as linear, flowing along in a straight line. We did one task, we’re doing another task now, and we are planning on doing something else all the time. Sometimes we place more emphasis on the future, or the past, forgetting that we are actually living in the present moment whether we focus on “the now” or not. Nonverbal communication is always in motion, as long as we are, and is never the same twice.

Nonverbal communication is irreversible. In written communication, you can write a clarification, correction, or retraction. While it never makes the original statement go completely away, it does allow for correction. Unlike written communication, oral communication may allow “do-overs” on the spot: you can explain and restate, hoping to clarify your point. You can also dig the hole you are in just a little bit deeper. The old sayings “when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging” and “open mouth, insert foot” can sometimes apply to oral communications. We’ve all said something we would give anything to take back, but we all know we can’t. Oral communication, like written communication, allows for some correction, but it still doesn’t erase the original message or its impact. Nonverbal communication takes it one step further. You can’t separate one nonverbal action from the context of all the other verbal and nonverbal communication acts, and you can’t take it back.

In a speech, nonverbal communication is continuous in the sense that it is always occurring, and because it is so fluid, it can be hard to determine where one nonverbal message starts and another stops. Words can be easily identified and isolated, but if we try to single out a speaker’s gestures, smile, or stance without looking at how they all come together in context, we may miss the point and draw the wrong conclusion. You need to be conscious of this aspect of public speaking because, to quote another old saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” This is true in the sense that people often pay more attention to your nonverbal expressions more than your words. As a result, nonverbal communication is a powerful way to contribute to (or detract from) your success in communicating your message to the audience.

Nonverbal Communication Is Fast

Let’s pretend you are at your computer at work. You see that an e-mail has arrived, but you are right in the middle of tallying a spreadsheet whose numbers just don’t add up. You see that the e-mail is from a coworker and you click on it. The subject line reads “pink slips.” You could interpret this to mean a suggestion for a Halloween costume, or a challenge to race for each other’s car ownership, but in the context of the workplace you may assume it means layoffs.

Your emotional response is immediate. If the author of the e-mail could see your face, they would know that your response was one of disbelief and frustration, even anger, all via your nonverbal communication. Yes, when a tree falls in the forest it makes a sound, even if no one is there to hear it. In the same way, you express yourself via nonverbal communication all the time without much conscious thought at all. You may think about how to share the news with your partner, and try to display a smile and a sense of calm when you feel like anything but smiling.

Nonverbal communication gives our thoughts and feelings away before we are even aware of what we are thinking or how we feel. People may see and hear more than you ever anticipated. Your nonverbal communication includes both intentional and unintentional messages, but since it all happens so fast, the unintentional ones can contradict what you know you are supposed to say or how you are supposed to react.

Nonverbal Communication Can Add to or Replace Verbal Communication

People tend to pay more attention to how you say it than what you actually say. In presenting a speech this is particularly true. We communicate nonverbally more than we engage in verbal communication, and often use nonverbal expressions to add to, or even replace, words we might otherwise say. We use a nonverbal gesture called an illustrator to communicate our message effectively and reinforce our point. Your coworker Andrew may ask you, “Barney’s Bar after work?” as he walks by, and you simply nod and say “yeah.” Andrew may respond with a nonverbal gesture, called an emblem , by signaling with the “OK” sign as he walks away.

In addition to illustrators or emblematic nonverbal communication, we also use regulators. “ Regulators are nonverbal messages which control, maintain or discourage interaction” (McLean, S., 2003). For example, if someone is telling you a message that is confusing or upsetting, you may hold up your hand, a commonly recognized regulator that asks the speaker to stop talking.

Let’s say you are in a meeting presenting a speech that introduces your company’s latest product. If your audience members nod their heads in agreement on important points and maintain good eye contact, it is a good sign. Nonverbally, they are using regulators encouraging you to continue with your presentation. In contrast, if they look away, tap their feet, and begin drawing in the margins of their notebook, these are regulators suggesting that you better think of a way to regain their interest or else wrap up your presentation quickly.

“ Affect displays are nonverbal communication that express emotions or feelings” (McLean, S., 2003). An affect display that might accompany holding up your hand for silence would be to frown and shake your head from side to side. When you and Andrew are at Barney’s Bar, smiling and waving at coworkers who arrive lets them know where you are seated and welcomes them.

Figure 11.1

Combing your hair would be an example of a purposeful action, unlike a self-adaptive behavior.

Matthew – I Hate Bad Hair Days – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

“ Adaptors are displays of nonverbal communication that help you adapt to your environment and each context, helping you feel comfortable and secure” (McLean, S., 2003). A self-adaptor involves you meeting your need for security, by playing with your hair for example, by adapting something about yourself in way for which it was not designed or for no apparent purpose. Combing your hair would be an example of a purposeful action, unlike a self-adaptive behavior. An object-adaptor involves the use of an object in a way for which it was not designed. You may see audience members tapping their pencils, chewing on them, or playing with them, while ignoring you and your presentation. Or perhaps someone pulls out a comb and repeatedly rubs a thumbnail against the comb’s teeth. They are using the comb or the pencil in a way other than its intended design, an object-adaptor that communicates a lack of engagement or enthusiasm in your speech.

Intentional nonverbal communication can complement, repeat, replace, mask, or contradict what we say. When Andrew invited you to Barney’s, you said, “Yeah” and nodded, complementing and repeating the message. You could have simply nodded, effectively replacing the “yes” with a nonverbal response. You could also have decided to say no, but did not want to hurt Andrew’s feelings. Shaking your head “no” while pointing to your watch, communicating work and time issues, may mask your real thoughts or feelings. Masking involves the substitution of appropriate nonverbal communication for nonverbal communication you may want to display (McLean, S., 2003). Finally, nonverbal messages that conflict with verbal communication can confuse the listener. Table 11.1 “Some Nonverbal Expressions” summarizes these concepts.

Table 11.1 Some Nonverbal Expressions

Nonverbal Communication Is Universal

Consider the many contexts in which interaction occurs during your day. In the morning, at work, after work, at home, with friends, with family, and our list could go on for quite awhile. Now consider the differences in nonverbal communication across these many contexts. When you are at work, do you jump up and down and say whatever you want? Why or why not? You may not engage in that behavior because of expectations at work, but the fact remains that from the moment you wake until you sleep, you are surrounded by nonverbal communication.

If you had been born in a different country, to different parents, and perhaps as a member of the opposite sex, your whole world would be quite different. Yet nonverbal communication would remain a universal constant. It may not look the same, or get used in the same way, but it will still be nonverbal communication in its many functions and displays.

Nonverbal Communication Is Confusing and Contextual

Nonverbal communication can be confusing. We need contextual clues to help us understand, or begin to understand, what a movement, gesture, or lack of display means. Then we have to figure it all out based on our prior knowledge (or lack thereof) of the person and hope to get it right. Talk about a challenge. Nonverbal communication is everywhere, and we all use it, but that doesn’t make it simple or independent of when, where, why, or how we communicate.

Nonverbal Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional

Suppose you are working as a salesclerk in a retail store, and a customer communicated frustration to you. Would the nonverbal aspects of your response be intentional or unintentional? Your job is to be pleasant and courteous at all times, yet your wrinkled eyebrows or wide eyes may have been unintentional. They clearly communicate your negative feelings at that moment. Restating your wish to be helpful and displaying nonverbal gestures may communicate “no big deal,” but the stress of the moment is still “written” on your face.

Can we tell when people are intentionally or unintentionally communicating nonverbally? Ask ten people this question and compare their responses. You may be surprised. It is clearly a challenge to understand nonverbal communication in action. We often assign intentional motives to nonverbal communication when in fact their display is unintentional, and often hard to interpret.

Nonverbal Messages Communicate Feelings and Attitudes

Steven Beebe, Susan Beebe, and Mark Redmond offer us three additional principals of interpersonal nonverbal communication that serve our discussion. One is that you often react faster than you think. Your nonverbal responses communicate your initial reaction before you can process it through language or formulate an appropriate response. If your appropriate, spoken response doesn’t match your nonverbal reaction, you may give away your true feelings and attitudes (Beebe, S., Beebe, S., and Redmond, M., 2002).

Albert Mehrabian asserts that we rarely communicate emotional messages through the spoken word. According to Mehrabian, 93 percent of the time we communicate our emotions nonverbally, with at least 55 percent associated with facial gestures. Vocal cues, body position and movement, and normative space between speaker and receiver can also be clues to feelings and attitudes (Mehrabian, A., 1972).

Is your first emotional response always an accurate and true representation of your feelings and attitudes, or does your emotional response change across time? We are all changing all the time, and sometimes a moment of frustration or a flash of anger can signal to the receiver a feeling or emotion that existed for a moment, but has since passed. Their response to your communication will be based on that perception, even though you might already be over the issue. This is where the spoken word serves us well. You may need to articulate clearly that you were frustrated, but not anymore. The words spoken out loud can serve to clarify and invite additional discussion.

We Believe Nonverbal Communication More than Verbal

Building on the example of responding to a situation with facial gestures associated with frustration before you even have time to think of an appropriate verbal response, let’s ask the question: what would you believe, someone’s actions or their words? According to William Seiler and Melissa Beall, most people tend to believe the nonverbal message over the verbal message. People will often answer that “actions speak louder than words” and place a disproportionate emphasis on the nonverbal response (Seiler W., and Beall, M., 2000). Humans aren’t logical all the time, and they do experience feelings and attitudes that change. Still, we place more confidence in nonverbal communication, particularly when it comes to lying behaviors. According to Miron Zuckerman, Bella DePaulo, and Robert Rosenthal, there are several behaviors people often display when they are being deceptive (Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B., and Rosenthal, R., 1981):

• Reduction in eye contact while engaged in a conversation
• Awkward pauses in conversation
• Higher pitch in voice
• Deliberate pronunciation and articulation of words
• Increased delay in response time to a question
• Increased body movements like changes in posture
• Decreased smiling
• Decreased rate of speech

If you notice one of more of the behaviors, you may want to take a closer look. Over time we learn people’s patterns of speech and behavior, and form a set of expectations. Variation from their established patterns, combined with the clues above, can serve to alert you to the possibility that something deserves closer attention.

Our nonverbal responses have a connection to our physiological responses to stress, such as heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductivity. Polygraph machines (popularly referred to as “lie detectors”) focus on these physiological responses and demonstrate anomalies, or variations. While movies and TV crime shows may make polygraphs look foolproof, there is significant debate about whether they measure dishonesty with any degree of accuracy.

Can you train yourself to detect lies? It is unlikely. Our purpose in studying nonverbal communication is not to uncover dishonesty in others, but rather to help you understand how to use the nonverbal aspects of communication to increase understanding.

Nonverbal Communication Is Key in the Speaker/Audience Relationship

When we first see each other, before anyone says a word, we are already sizing each other up. Within the first few seconds we have made judgments about each other based on what we wear, our physical characteristics, even our posture. Are these judgments accurate? That is hard to know without context, but we can say that nonverbal communication certainly affects first impressions, for better or worse. When a speaker and the audience first meet, nonverbal communication in terms of space, dress, and even personal characteristics can contribute to assumed expectations. The expectations might not be accurate or even fair, but it is important to recognize that they will be present. There is truth in the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Since beginnings are fragile times, your attention to aspects you can control, both verbal and nonverbal, will help contribute to the first step of forming a relationship with your audience. Your eye contact with audience members, use of space, and degree of formality will continue to contribute to that relationship.

As a speaker, your nonverbal communication is part of the message and can contribute to, or detract from, your overall goals. By being aware of them, and practicing with a live audience, you can learn to be more aware and in control.

Key Takeaways

• Nonverbal communication is the process of conveying a message without the use of words; it relates to the dynamic process of communication, the perception process and listening, and verbal communication.
• Nonverbal communication is fluid and fast, universal, confusing, and contextual. It can add to or replace verbal communication and can be intentional or unintentional.
• Nonverbal communication communicates feelings and attitudes, and people tend to believe nonverbal messages more than verbal ones.
• Does it limit or enhance our understanding of communication to view nonverbal communication as that which is not verbal communication? Explain your answer and discuss with the class.
• Choose a television personality you admire. What do you like about this person? Watch several minutes of this person with the sound turned off, and make notes of the nonverbal expressions you observe. Turn the sound back on and make notes of their tone of voice, timing, and other audible expressions. Discuss your results with a classmate.
• Find a program that focuses on microexpressions and write a brief summary of how they play a role in the program. Share and compare with classmates.
• Create a survey that addresses the issue of which people trust more, nonverbal or verbal messages. Ask an equal number of men and women and compare your results with those of your classmates.
• Search for information on the reliability and admissibility of results from polygraph (lie detector) tests. Share your findings with classmates.
• See how long and how much you can get done during the day without the use of verbal messages.

Beebe, S. [Steven], Beebe, S. [Susan], & Redmond, M. (2002). Interpersonal communication relating to others (3rd ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

McLean, S. (2003). The basics of speech communication . Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication . Chicago, IL: Aldine Atherton.

Seiler, W., & Beall, M. (2000). Communication: Making connections (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B., & Rosenthal, R. (1981). Verbal and nonverbal communication of deception. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 14 , 1–59.

Business Communication for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

49 Communication Activities, Exercises & Games

Read on to learn about how important communication is in a relationship and how you can work on improving your communication skills.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based tools will help you and those you work with build better social skills and better connect with others.

This Article Contains:

What are communication activities, exercises, and games, the role of communication in a relationship, how can we develop better communication skills, 18 communication games and activities for adults, 17 exercises to help improve communication in a relationship, the importance of communication in the family unit, 14 family therapy activities for communication, a take-home message.

The resources in this piece include tips, techniques, exercises, games, and other activities that give you the opportunity to learn more about effective communication, help guide your interactions with others, and improve your communication skills.

Some might feel like a chore you need to cross off your to-do list while others may make you forget you’re not just having fun with your family , but actually boosting vital life skills; however, they all have one thing in common: they will help you become a better, more effective, and more positive communicator with those who mean the most to you.

But what’s the deal with these activities, exercises, and therapy games ? Are they really that important or impactful? Do we really need to work on communicating when it seems like we’re pretty good at it already?

Check out this quote from Stephen R. Covey and take a minute to think about how vital communication really is.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques rather than from our own inner core, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

Stephen R. Covey

As Covey notes, communication is the foundation of all of our relationships , forming the basis of our interactions and feelings about one another.

According to Australia’s Better Health Channel, communication is “ the transfer of information from one place to another ” and within relationships, it “ allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are ” (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

When communication is good, we feel good about our relationships. Dr. Susan Heitler (2010) puts it this way:

When people say, ‘We have a great relationship,’ what they often mean is how they feel when they talk with one another. They mean, ‘I feel positive toward that person when we interact. I send and I receive positive vibes with them.’

Besides making our relationships easier, there are also relationship-boosting benefits to good communication:

• Effective communication shows respect and value of the other person.
• It helps us to better understand each other; not all communication is about understanding—some are intended to fight, dismiss, invalidate, undermine, etc.—but it should be!
• It makes us feel more comfortable with each other and encourages even more healthy and effective communication (Abass, n.d.).

Download 3 Communication Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to improve communication skills and enjoy more positive social interactions with others.

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Fortunately, all it takes to develop better communication skills is a commitment to do so and a little bit of effort.

These tips from Australia’s Better Health Channel can help guide you toward better communication with your partner or spouse (these tips can also apply to any other relationship in your life with a little tweaking):

• Set aside time to talk without interruption from other people or distractions like phones, computers or television.
• Think about what you want to say.
• Be clear about what you want to communicate.
• Make your message clear, so that your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean.
• Talk about what is happening and how it affects you.
• Talk about what you want, need and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’.
• Accept responsibility for your own feelings.
• Listen to your partner. Put aside your own thoughts for the time being and try to understand their intentions, feelings, needs and wants (this is called empathy ).
• Share positive feelings with your partner, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you.
• Be aware of your tone of voice.
• Negotiate and remember that you don’t have to be right all the time. If the issue you are having is not that important, sometimes let the issue go, or agree to disagree (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

If you’re experiencing high levels of conflict in your relationship(s), the Better Health Channel has some specific recommendations for you:

• Avoid using the silent treatment.
• Don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.
• Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge.
• Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other.
• Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
• Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems.
• Talk about the problems that hurt your or your partner’s feelings, then move on to problems about differences in opinions.
• Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

8 Tips on How to Teach Communication Skills

This useful framework comes from Alice Stott at Edutopia (2018):

• Physical: How a speaker uses their body language, facial expressions, and voice.
• Linguistic: The speaker’s use of language, including their understanding of formality and rhetorical devices.
• Cognitive: The content of what a speaker says and their ability to build on, challenge, question, and summarize others’ ideas.
• Social and emotional : How well a speaker listens, includes others, and responds to their audience (Stott, 2018).

Once you have a good framework for understanding communication, try these 8 ways to foster effective communication in your children or students:

• Teach your kids empathy so they can get a sense of what the other person is thinking and feeling.
• Teach your kids conversation skills with techniques like puppets and video modeling, which they can then apply in exercises and activities.
• Establish listening and speaking procedures in the classroom or at home (e.g., Dr. Allen Mendler’s SLANT strategy : Sit up straight, Listen, Answer and ask questions, Nod to show interest, Track the speaker; Mendler, 2013).
• Teach respectful vocabulary and remind students that being “cold” (passive) or “hot” (angry) will probably result in less understanding and more conflict.
• Teach the power of pausing (e.g., encourage them to pause, think, and ask questions like “What do you mean by that?” and “Why?”).
• Have your kids practice speaking and listening in natural settings (e.g., outside of the home and classroom).
• Encourage introspection in your children; it will help them understand themselves better as well as those around them.
• Practice taking turns with a talking stick or a ball, teaching your children that they can speak when they have the object but they are expected to listen when others are talking (Stanfield, 2017).

One of the most effective ways to avoid unnecessary disputes is to practice non-violent communication (NVC). According to Rosenberg (1999), non-violent communication methods can serve us in three ways:

• It can increase your ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection
• It helps connect empathically with yourself and others to have more satisfying relationships
• It shares resources so everyone is able to benefit

In an effort to exemplify the various forms that communication can take, we want to share some key differences between passive, assertive, and aggressive communication styles.

• Specifically, a passive communicator prioritizes the needs of others, even at their own expense. This often leads to being taken advantage of and having their own needs disregarded by others as well.
• An assertive communicator mirrors the values of NVC, which is what we should aim for. This communication style emphasizes the importance of all parties’ needs and is defined by confidence and the willingness to compromise
• Aggressive communication, also referred to as violent communication, disregards any other parties involved and consists of constant disrespect, interrupting, and domination.

Now that you are familiar with these types of communication styles, it’s time to analyze how you convey your thoughts to others (and if there is any room for improvement).

If you’re looking for some concrete ways to build communication skills in adults, you’ve come to the right place. Below are 18 games, activities, and exercises that you can use to help adults develop more effective listening and communication skills.

5 Communication Activities for Adults

To get started improving your (or your team’s, or your student’s) communication skills, give these 5 activities a try.

1. Card Pieces

This exercise from the team at MindTools is a good way to help participants develop more empathy, consider other perspectives, build their communication and negotiation skills.

First, make sure you have enough people for at least three teams of two, enough playing cards to give out between 4 and 6 cards to each person, and 15 minutes to spare.

Here’s how the activity works:

• Cut each playing card into half diagonally, then in half diagonally again, so you have four triangular pieces for each card.
• Mix all the pieces together and put equal numbers of cards into as many envelopes as you have teams.
• Divide people up into teams of three or four. You need at least three teams. If you’re short of people, teams of two will work just as well.
• Give each team an envelope of playing card pieces.
• Each team has three minutes to sort its pieces, determine which ones it needs to make complete cards, and develop a bargaining strategy.
• After three minutes, allow the teams to start bartering for pieces. People can barter on their own or collectively with their team. Give the teams eight minutes to barter.
• When the time is up, count each team’s completed cards. Whichever team has the most cards wins the round.

Afterward, you can use these questions to guide discussion on the exercise:

• Which negotiation strategies worked? Which didn’t?
• What could they have done better?
• What other skills, such as active listening or empathy, did they need to use?

2. Listen and Draw

This game is easy to play but not so easy to “win.” It requires participants’ full attention and active listening.

Gather your group of participants together and hand out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to each player. Tell them you will give them verbal instructions on drawing an object, one step at a time.

For example, you might give them instructions like:

• Draw a square, measuring 5 inches on each side.
• Draw a circle within the square, such that it fits exactly in the middle of the square.
• Intersect 2 lines through the circle, dividing the circle into 4 equal parts.

As the exercise continues, it will get progressively harder; one misstep could mean that every following instruction is misinterpreted or misapplied. Participants will need to listen carefully to ensure their drawing comes out accurately. Once the instructions have all been read, compare drawings and decide who won.

For added engagement, decide in advance on what the finished product is supposed to represent (e.g., a spiderweb, a tree).

3. Communication Origami

This is a great exercise to help people understand that we all hear and interpret things differently, even if we are given the exact same information.

Here’s how it works:

• Give one sheet of standard-sized paper (8.5 x 11 inches) to each participant.
• Tell your participants that you will be giving them step-by-step instructions on how to fold their piece of paper into an origami shape.
• Inform your participants that they must keep their eyes and mouths closed as they follow instructions; they are not allowed to look at the paper or ask any clarifying questions.
• Give the group your instructions on how to fold the paper into the origami shape of your choice.
• Once the instructions have all been given, have everyone open their eyes and compare their shape with the intended shape.

You will likely find that each shape is a little bit different! To hit the point home, refer to these discussion points and questions:

• Make the point that each paper looks different even though you have given the same instructions to everybody. What does this mean?
• Ask the group if you think the results would have been better if they kept their eyes open or were allowed to ask questions.
• Communicating clearly is not easy, we all interpret the information we get differently that’s why it’s very important to ask questions and confirm understanding to ensure the communicated message is not distorted.

4. Guess the Emotion

Another useful exercise from the Training Course Material website is called “ Guess the Emotion .” As you might expect, it involves acting out and guessing emotions. This helps all participants practice empathy and better understand their coworkers or group members’ reactions.

Follow these instructions to play this engaging game:

• Divide the group into two teams.
• Place on a table (or put in a box) a packet of cards, each of which has a particular emotion typed on it
• Have a participant from Group A take the top card from the table and act out (pantomime) the emotion for his/her group. This is to be done in a fixed time limit (such as a minute or two).
• If the emotion is guessed correctly by Group A, they receive ten points.
• Now have a participant from Group B act out an emotion; award points as appropriate.
• Rotate the acting opportunities between the two groups.
• After 20 to 30 minutes of acting and guessing, call time and announce the winning team based on its point total.

If you have a particularly competitive group, consider giving a prize to the winning team!

5. The Guessing Game

Finally, another fun and engaging game that can boost communication skills: “ The Guessing Game. ” You will probably recognize this game, as it’s similar to what many people know as “ Twenty Questions ,” except there is no hard limit on the number of questions you can ask.

To start, separate the group into two teams of equal (or roughly equal) size. Instruct one player from each team to leave the room for one minute and come up with a common object that can be found in most offices (e.g., a stapler, a printer, a whiteboard).

When this person returns, their teammates will try to guess what the object is by asking only “Yes or No” questions (i.e., questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”). The team can ask as many questions as they need to figure it out, but remind them that they’re in competition with the other team. If there’s time, you can have multiple rounds for added competition between the teams.

Take the last 10 minutes or so to discuss and debrief. Use the following points and questions to guide it:

• Tell the group that obviously it took a long time and effort for us to find out the object in each round, but what if we didn’t have time and only had one question to ask to find out the object, what would that question be?
• The question would be “What is the object?” which is an open-ended question.
• Open-ended questions are an excellent way to save time and energy and help you get to the information you need fast, however, closed questions can also be very useful in some instances to confirm your understanding or to help you control the conversation with an overly talkative person/customer.

5 Listening Activities for Adults

If you’re intent on improving listening skills, in particular, you have lots of options; give these 5 activities a try.

1. Telephone Exercise

This classic exercise from Becky Norman (2018) at Sift’s Training Zone illustrates why listening is such an important skill, and why we shouldn’t ignore any opportunities to improve it.

Split your group into two even lines. At opposite ends of each line, whisper a phrase or short sentence to the person on the end and tell them to pass it on using only whispers, one person at a time. They can only repeat the phrase or sentence once.

While participants are busy passing the message along to the next person in line, play music or engage them in conversation to create some white noise. This will make it a bit more difficult but it will mimic real-life conditions, where distractions abound.

When the messages have made it to the end of each line, have the last person to receive the message in each line report out on what they heard. Next, have the first person to receive the message in each line report the original message and compare it to the final message received.

2. Stop Listening Exercise

This exercise , also from Becky Norman’s piece (2018), will show participants the emotional consequences of not listening and—hopefully—encourage them to practice better listening skills.

Split your group into two smaller groups of equal size and take one group outside the room. Tell them that they are instructed to stop listening to their partner after about 30 seconds, and to be open in showing their disinterest. Tell the other group to think of something that they are passionate about and be prepared to tell their soon-to-be partner a meaningful or personally relevant story about this topic.

Bring the other group back in, put all the participants into pairs, and tell them to get started. Observe the behavior from the listeners and the reactions from the speakers until you’re sure each speaker has picked up on what’s happening. Stop the conversations at this point and explain the instructions that were given to each group.

Facilitate a group discussion on the importance of listening, how to use active listening, and what indicates that someone is truly listening.

3. Listener and Talker Activity

The “Listener and Talker” activity is another good activity for showing the importance of active listening and giving participants a chance to practice their skills.

Divide your group into pairs, with one partner assigned to the talker role and the other assigned to the listener role. The talker’s job is to describe what he or she wants from a vacation without specifying a destination. The listener’s job is to listen attentively to what is being said (and what is not being said) and to demonstrate their listening through their behavior.

After a few minutes of active listening, the listener should summarize the three or main criteria the talker is considering when it comes to enjoying their vacation. Finally, the listener should try to sell the talker on a destination for their vacation. After a quick debrief on how well the listener listened, the two should switch roles and try the exercise again.

This exercise gives each participant a chance to practice talking about their wants and needs, as well as an opportunity to engage in active listening and use the knowledge they gained to understand and relate to the speaker.

4. Memory Test Activity

This great activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is called the “Memory Test” activity.

• Tell participants that you are going to read them a list of words to test their memory.
• Instruct them to listen carefully, as they cannot write down any of the words. Tell them you will test them later to see how many of the words they can remember.
• When you finish reading the list of words, distract your participants by talking about something else for at least one full minute.
• Once you have finished talking, have each participant write down as many words as they can remember from the list.

You (and your participants) will find that it’s pretty difficult to remember a list of somewhat-random words, especially when there is a break in time and another discussion in between hearing them and recalling them! Relate this to real-life listening by emphasizing the importance of paying attention to people when they are speaking to you, especially if it’s an important conversation.

5. Just Listen Activity

This activity comes from the folks at MindTools.com and offers participants a chance to communicate their feelings and provide a recap or rephrasing of another person’s feelings on a subject.

To get started, you will need an even number of people to pair off (or prepare to partner with one yourself) and eight index cards per pair. These index cards should have one topic written on each card; try to make sure the topics are interesting but not too controversial, as you don’t want listeners to dislike the speakers if they disagree with their viewpoint (e.g., you should probably avoid politics and religion).

Use these instructions to conduct the activity:

• Have the team members sit down in their pairs.
• Give each pair eight of the index cards.
• Instruct one partner to choose a random card and then speak for three minutes on how he or she feels about the topic.
• Instruct the other partner to stay quiet while the first partner talks, just listening instead of speaking.
• After the three minutes is up, the listener has one minute to recap what the speaker said (not agree, disagree, or debate, just recap).
• Have each pair switch roles and repeat the exercise so both partners get a chance to speak and to listen.

After each participant has played both roles, end the activity and guide a discussion with the following questions:

• How did speakers feel about their partners’ ability to listen with an open mind? Did their partners’ body language communicate how they felt about what was being said?
• How did listeners feel about not being able to speak about their own views on the topic? How well were they able to keep an open mind? How well did they listen?
• How well did the listening partners summarize the speakers’ opinions? Did they get better as the exercise progressed?
• How can they use the lessons from this exercise at work?

You will find this activity at this link , exercise #4.

6 Nonverbal Communication Activities for Adults

Nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication, if not more so!

Use these 6 activities to practice reading and “speaking” effective nonverbal messages.

1. Power of Body Language

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com will help your participants work on their body language skills.

• Tell the participants that you are going to give them a series of instructions and you want them to follow them as fast as they can.
• Put your hand to your nose.
• Clap your hands.
• Touch your shoulder.
• Stamp your foot.
• Cross your arms.
• Put your hand to your mouth (but while saying this one, put your hand to your nose).
• Observe how many participants copied what you did instead of what you said.

Share this observation with your group and lead a discussion on how body language can influence our understanding and our reactions. It can reinforce what we hear or it can interfere with the verbal communication we receive. The more aware we are of this possibility, the better communicators we become. It’s vital to keep your own body language in mind, just as it’s vital to notice and understand others’ body language.

2. Clap and Follow

The “Clap and Follow” activity is a great way to practice using your body in conjunction with verbal communication.

It works like this:

• Tell your group that this is a game that requires their full concentration.
• When they hear one clap from the leader (you), tell them this means they should stand up.
• When they hear two claps from the leader, they should hop once in place.
• When they hear three claps, they should rub their belly.
• When they hear four claps, they should do a 360-degree turn on the spot.
• When they hear five claps, they should pat their head.
• Begin the activity! Start with one clap, then two claps, and so on until you have given the group each instruction once.
• Now, mix it up! Switch between the five different instructions and begin to pick up the pace. This is when the eliminations begin.
• Each time a participant engages in the wrong activity, eliminate them from the game. Continue until there is one clear winner.

If you have a competitive group, you may want to bring a prize to ensure active engagement with the exercise. It will give participants a chance to practice nonverbal communication in a fun context.

3. Wordless Acting

This activity from Grace Fleming (2018) at ThoughtCo will show your participants how much we “speak” with our body language and facial expressions.

Here are the instructions:

• Separate your group into pairs.
• Assign one participant in each pair to be Partner A and the other to be Partner B.
• Give each participant a copy of the script (copied below).
• Instruct Participant A to read his or her lines out loud, but instruct Participant B to communicate his or her lines in a nonverbal way.
• Provide Participant B with a secret emotional distraction written on a piece of paper (e.g., Participant B is in a rush, is really bored, or is feeling guilty).
• Have each pair work through the script.
• After each pair has finished working through the script, have the “A” participants guess what emotion their partner was feeling.

This is the script you will give each participant:

A: Have you seen my book? I can’t remember where I put it. B: Which one? A: The murder mystery. The one you borrowed. B: Is this it? A: No. It’s the one you borrowed. B: I did not! A: Maybe it’s under the chair. Can you look? B: Okay—just give me a minute. A: How long are you going to be? B: Geez, why so impatient? I hate when you get bossy. A: Forget it. I’ll find it myself. B: Wait—I found it!

After the activity, guide a discussion on how much information we can pick up from nonverbal communication and how important it is to regulate our bodies and our facial expressions when communicating, even if we’re also using verbal communication.

4. We Have to Move Now!

Another great exercise from Grace Fleming (2018) is called “We Have to Move Now!” and it will help your participants learn how to express and detect several different emotions.

These are the instructions for this activity:

• Cut several strips of paper.
• On each strip of paper, write down a mood, feeling, or disposition, like guilty, happy, suspicious, paranoid, insulted, or insecure.
• Fold the strips of paper so you can’t see what is written on it and place them in a bowl or jar. These are your prompts.
• Have each participant take a prompt from the bowl or jar and read the exact same sentence to the class, but with the emotion the prompt specifies.
• The sentence everybody will read is: “We all need to gather our possessions and move to another building as soon as possible.”
• Have the participants guess the emotion of each reader by writing down what they think the speaker is feeling (or what they are supposed to be feeling).

After each participant has had a chance to read the sentence based on one of the prompts, run through the emotions displayed and see how many each participant guessed correctly. Finally, lead a debriefing discussion on how things like tone and body language can impact the way a message is received.

5. Stack the Deck

All you’ll need for this exercise is a deck of playing cards, a blindfold for each participant, and some space to move around.

Here’s how “Stack the Deck” works:

• Shuffle the deck of cards and hand one out to each participant.
• Instruct the participants to keep their cards a secret; no one should see the suit or color of another participant’s card.
• Tell the participants that they will not be allowed to talk at all during this exercise.
• Instruct your participants to assemble into four groups according to their suit (hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades), but using only nonverbal communication.
• If you have the time and your participants have the inclination, try blindfolding each participant and giving the same instructions—it makes it much more difficult and more time-consuming!
• Once participants have all gathered into one of the four groups, have them line up according to their rank (Ace is the lowest, King is the highest); again, they cannot speak or show their cards to anyone during this part of the exercise.
• The group that lines up in the right order first wins!

As always, you can offer a prize to the winning team to motivate your participants.

This exercise will show how difficult it is to communicate without words, but it will also show your participants that it is not only possible, it gets easier as they start to pick up on one another’s nonverbal cues.

You can find this exercise at this link (Activity #3).

6. Silent Movie

Finally, facilitate this activity to really drive home the importance of effective nonverbal communication.

Divide your participants into two groups. For the first half of the activity, one group will be screenwriters and the other group will be actors. In the second half, the two groups will switch roles.

Instruct the screenwriters to write a silent movie, but to keep these things in mind:

• Silent movies tell a story without words. It’s important to start the scene with the actor doing an obvious task, like cleaning the house or rowing a boat.
• The scene must be interrupted when a second actor (or several actors) enter the scene, and their arrival should have a big impact. The character(s) could be anyone (or anything), including burglars, salesmen, children, or even animals.
• A physical commotion must occur.
• The problem that is caused by the commotion must be resolved by the end of the scene.

Give the screenwriters time to write out their script, then have the actors perform the script. Once the scene is finished, have the groups switch roles.

The communication game – Asgar Hussain

2 Communication Group Activities

Other great activities for group communication include the “Square Talk” and “Follow All Instructions” activities.

1. Square Talk Activity

For this activity , you will need one blindfold for each participant, one long piece of rope for each team (teams should be composed of around 5 participants each), and 25 minutes.

Follow these steps to give this activity a try:

• Divide your group of participants into groups of about 5 each.
• Clear the room so you have as much space as possible.
• Blindfold each participant and tell them their objective: to make a square from a rope (i.e., stand in the shape of a square with their team).
• Disorientate each participant by moving them a bit, spinning them around, etc.
• All team members are blindfolded and must remain so for the duration of the activity.
• The rope you are holding is approximately ___ feet in length.
• The role you are holding is knotted together to form a circle; it must not be undone.
• You must not let go of the rope.
• You will be told when you have 5 minutes remaining.
• Allow the teams to work on the activity and inform them when they have 5 minutes left.

Once the teams have given this activity their best shot, use these 5 discussion questions to review the importance of good group communication:

• Do you feel as a group you communicated effectively?
• During the Activity, what communication skills did you use effectively?
• During the activity, what communication skills could you have used to improve performance?
• How important is communication in the workplace? Why?
• What key points have you learned about communication from this activity, that you wish to apply in the workplace?

2. Follow All Instructions Activity

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is a great one for young people, but it can be used with participants of all ages. All you’ll need is a set of instructions for each participant.

• Write all of your teams initials at the top right-hand corner of this sheet.
• Write your first name on your sheet of paper.
• Write the total of 3 + 16 + 32 + 64 here: __________________
• Underline instruction 1 above.
• Check the time by your watch with that of one of your neighbor’s.
• Write down the difference in time between the two watches at the foot of this page.
• Draw three circles in the left-hand margin.
• Put a tick in each of the circles mentioned in 6.
• Sign your signature at the foot of the page.
• On the back of the page, divide 50 by 12.5.
• When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.
• If you have carefully followed all these instructions, call out ‘I have’.
• On the reverse of this page, draw quickly what you think an upright bicycle looks like from overhead.
• Check your answer to Item 9, multiply it by 5 and write the result in the left-hand margin opposite this item.
• Write the 5th, 10th, 9th and 20th letters of the alphabet here: ___________________
• Punch three holes with your pen here: o o o
• If you think you are the first person to get this far, call out ‘I’m in the lead’.
• Underline all the even digits on the left-hand side of the page.
• Draw triangles around the holes you punched in Item 15.
• Now you’ve finished reading all the instructions, obey only 1, 2, 20 & 21.
• Stand up and say, “We’re the greatest team in the World!”

As you can see, the instructions include lots of silly directives (e.g., “When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.”) that will identify who is following the directions and who is not—but the person that stands is actually the one not following directions!

The first and only verbal instruction you will give participants is to read all the written instructions first before engaging in any of the directives. The first person to complete the list will be declared the winner of the activity. You can offer a prize to the winner if you think the group would be motivated by it.

This exercise is a fun way to see who is paying attention and who is skipping the most vital instruction—to read everything before acting.

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If you’re specifically looking for ways to improve your communication in a romantic relationship, these 17 exercises are a great place to start!

7 Communication Games for Couples

Defeating Divorce shares the following three games aimed at improving communication in a romantic relationship.

This game is goal-directed, meaning the couple is working towards a common goal, and that goal requires effective communication.

• The couple sits back to back with an identical set of building blocks in front of each of them.
• One partner uses their blocks to create some sort of building or structure.
• The builder partner then relays a series of instructions to the other partner to help him or her build the exact same structure.
• The listener partner must try to build the same structure based on the speaker partner’s instructions.

This game takes some serious teamwork and good communication, and it can be repeated as needed to help a couple build their skills.

2. Minefield

You will need a blindfold for one partner, some space to navigate, and some objects with which you can create a minefield or obstacle course. Once the course is ready to go, blindfold one partner and bring them into the room.

The challenge here is for the non-blindfolded partner to guide the blindfolded partner through the obstacle course using only verbal communication. The couple will only succeed if the blindfolded partner has trust in their partner and the non-blindfolded partner is an effective verbal communicator.

Feelings of frustration are common in this game, but it can be a great way to highlight issues in communication or, alternately, highlight the couple’s communication strengths.

3. Give Me a Hand

This game is another one that can be frustrating for the couple but ultimately provides a great opportunity to build effective communication skills and unite the two in a common goal.

In this game, the couple will be given a seemingly easy task to complete, such as buttoning a shirt or tying a shoe, but with a catch—each partner will have one arm tied behind their back. The couple will find that the lack of one arm makes the task much more difficult than they might expect!

To complete the task, the couple will need to communicate effectively and coordinate their movements. It will be tough, but immensely satisfying to successfully complete this challenge!

4. Twenty Questions Times Two

If you remember the game “Twenty Questions”, you’ll recognize this game. It can be used to help couples communicate, share important details, and strengthen their connection.

Here’s how:

• The couple should schedule some time alone, without distractions.
• Before playing the game, each partner should come up with a list of 20 detailed personal questions to ask the other partner. The couple should feel free to get creative here!
• Both partners take turns asking each other one question at a time.
• When they’ve finished asking each other their questions, they should reverse them! Instead of asking questions like, “What is your favorite color?” each partner will ask, “What is my favorite color?”

This fun twist on a familiar game will result in greater knowledge and understanding of your spouse and, hopefully, better communication skills.

5. Eye-to-Eye

This game is a good way for couples to work on communicating and improving their connection, and all you need is your eyes!

Here’s how to do it:

• The couple sits facing each other, close enough to hold hands.
• Each partner looks directly into the other partner’s eyes.
• Each partner should take a minute to notice the feelings they are experiencing at this point.
• One partner begins talking about something simple and easy to discuss, like what happened that day, what they had for lunch, or something they are grateful for.
• The other partner reciprocates with a similar conversation, all while holding eye contact.
• The couple continues sharing things one at a time until each partner has shared at least three or four times.
• The couple discusses what the experience was like.

Many people find this game uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it can greatly enhance your sense of intimacy with your partner.

6. The Top Three

Similar to the “three good things” exercise, this game’s aim is to boost a couple’s gratitude for one another and give them both a chance to practice expressing it. Couples should schedule a time for this game every day, but the good news is that it doesn’t take long—just a few minutes will do.

To play “The Top Three”, couples should follow these instructions:

• At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on your day. Think about what your partner has done for you today.
• Take turns sharing those three things with your partner and tell them what each thing meant to you.
• Don’t forget to say “thank you” or otherwise verbally express your gratitude to your partner!

This game gets couples to practice vocalizing their appreciation and expressing gratitude, two things that are not necessarily in everyone’s daily communications but can have a big impact on a relationship.

7. Make a Playdate

Playdates are not just for kids or puppies—they are a great idea for couples as well! A play date is not your average, regularly scheduled programming sort of date, but something that is different, spontaneous, unique, and/or just plain fun!

Here are the three ground rules for the playdate:

• It has to be something for just the couple to do and they cannot include the kids or discuss mundane things like chores or bills.
• It has to be something that requires both partners to be present in the moment; think sailing, rock climbing, or dance lessons rather than seeing a movie or going out to dinner.
• The couple should take turns picking the activity and try to surprise their partner with something new.

Planning this date will not only make it easier to feel connected and closer to one another, but it also provides couples with an opportunity to communicate their love for one another through their actions. Depending on the date activity, it can also provide some much-needed time for the couple to talk.

5 Exercises and Activities for Married Couples

These exercises , also from Defeating Divorce, are not just for married couples, but for anyone in a committed relationship.

1. Fireside Chats

This communication exercise is based on President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “fireside chats,” in which he addressed the American people with the intention of making it feel as if he was speaking directly into their living room, carrying on a calm and rational discussion of important issues.

The intention of this exercise for couples is similar: to make the couple feel more connected, more aware of what is going on in each other’s lives, and to maintain a pulse on how the relationship is going.

The two partners should schedule a 15 to 30-minute “fireside chat” each week to practice their ability to speak calmly, respectfully, and effectively about important and relevant issues. They should minimize the chances of distraction (turn off the TV, put their phones on silent, etc.) and focus only on one another for these chats.

What the couple discusses is up to them, but if there are salient relationship issues, this is a good time to talk about them. If the issues are very serious, it may be a good idea to start out this exercise talking about less intense, less emotional topics before moving on to the problem areas.

2. High-Low Activity

The high-low activity also aims to help couples feel more connected and in touch with one another, which requires measured and thoughtful communication. Engaging in this exercise daily will give the couple a chance to practice their communication skills on a regular basis, as well as their active listening skills.

Here’s how the exercise works:

• Wait until the end of the day (e.g., at the end of dinner, around bedtime) to put it into practice.
• The couple will then “check-in” with each other about the other’s day.
• Each partner will ask the other to share their “high” of the day or the best part of their day.
• Next, each partner will ask the other to share their “low” of the day or the worst or most disappointing part of their day.
• As one partner is sharing, the other should practice active listening techniques, conveying their empathy and understanding to their partner.

This simple activity will result in a more intimate and understanding relationship between the two partners, all for just a few minutes a day.

3. Listening Without Words

If a couple wants to practice both their verbal and nonverbal communication, this is a great way to do it. The “Listening Without Words” activity allows each partner to apply both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, as it involves switching between only speaking and only listening.

This is how to practice it:

• The couple will schedule some time for themselves without kids, work, or other responsibilities interrupting them.
• They set a timer for somewhere between 3 to 5 minutes.
• Until the timer goes off, one partner acts as the speaker and the other acts as the listener. The speaker will talk about any subject they’d like to talk about.
• While the speaker talks, the listener will attempt to show the speaker compassion, empathy, and understanding through nonverbal communication only (e.g., smiling, nodding, taking their partner’s hand).
• When the timer goes off, the partners will have a chance to process what they experienced and discuss any thoughts or feelings that came up.
• Finally, the partners switch roles and repeat the exercise.

This exercise is a great way to boost your bond and your skills at the same time.

4. Eye See You

Similar to a previous exercise (“Eye-to-Eye”), this exercise relies heavily on eye contact; however, unlike the previous exercise, this one does not allow talking until the end.

Here’s how to give it a try:

• The couple should be in a quiet and relaxing environment, with as few distractions as possible.
• They sit in two chairs facing one another, near to one another but not touching.
• The couple sets a timer for five minutes and settles in their respective seats, making and holding eye contact with one another. They will hold eye contact but refrain from speaking or touching until the timer goes off.
• Both partners should be encouraged to note any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that come bubbling up during these five minutes.
• Once the timer goes off, the two should try to guess what the other person was thinking and feeling during the five minutes. Once they have a chance to guess, they should discuss these things that bubbled to the surface as they maintained eye contact.

It might surprise some people to hear what their partner was thinking and feeling during the activity, but a strong relationship depends on understanding and empathizing with one another, making communication like this a necessity.

5. Send Me a Postcard

Although we’ve mostly focused on verbal communication and communications via body language, facial expressions, and touch, there is another form that we haven’t mentioned: written communication. This activity guides the couple in developing more effective written communication skills.

Both partners should have two blank postcards and something to write with for this exercise. On one postcard, each partner will write down a message to the other partner communicating a frustration, a feeling, or a desire. They should take a few minutes to create a thoughtful message to their partner.

Once they have their postcard ready to “mail” each partner will deliver their message to their partner without any verbal communication. They will both read their partner’s message and take a few moments to process. When they feel ready, they will use their remaining blank postcard to craft a response to their partner’s message.

When both partners have finished writing their response, they will deliver those messages to one another as well. After they have both read the response postcards, the couple can debrief and discuss their messages to one another.

5 Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy

If you’re hungry for more couples’ communication exercises, maybe these five exercises will hit the spot!

1. Active Listening

Active listening is not the easiest skill to master, but it is an important one to develop. This exercise from marriage counseling expert Racheal Tasker will give you a chance to practice it with the person closest to you.

The next time you and your partner are talking about something important or sensitive, put these tips and techniques into practice:

• The speaker should remain focused on a single thought or idea.
• The listener should listen attentively to the speaker, concentrating on understanding their perspective and attempting to gain new insights into their thoughts and feelings.
• The speaker and listener should switch roles after a while to allow each to practice both types of communication.
• Both partners should practice speaking and listening with patience and love, allowing their feelings for their partner to guide them toward true understanding rather than just reacting (Tasker, n.d.).

2. Sharing Emotions Freely

It can be tough to be truly open with our emotions, but it’s vital for effective communication and a healthy relationship. Try this exercise to work on this skill.

The couple should agree to try this exercise together and follow these instructions:

• Decide on a specific time and place to put this exercise into practice.
• Let your partner know what you need to feel safe sharing your feelings, and listen to what your partner needs to feel safe sharing his or her feelings.
• Be sure to also ask your partner what would make him or her feel more comfortable as you share your feelings, as it can be just as difficult to hear as it is to share.
• Share with your partner! If it helps, use a timer to limit how much sharing can occur and to ensure equal time to share feelings.
• Listen to what your partner tells you and discuss what, if any, concrete steps you can take based on the information you’ve both shared. Commit to using the information you gained to improve your communication skills and your relationship in general (Tasker, n.d.).

3. Use Positive Language

Another great exercise from Racheal Tasker is focused on using positive language with one another. It can be surprisingly easy to slide into a pattern of mostly neutral or even negative language with your partner, but you can use this exercise to counter that tendency.

Here’s what to do:

• Commit to using positive language when you communicate with your partner.
• Ask your partner to make the same commitment to positive language.
• Avoid being overly critical or negative when communicating with your partner.
• Use a positive and encouraging tone when you speak to your partner.
• Keep an eye on the words you use; try to incorporate words like “love”, “feel”, “appreciate”, and ditch words like “fault”, “never”, and “hate” (e.g., “I hate it when you do X!”).

As partners continue to practice this exercise on a regular basis, they will find that their communication style grows more positive with less effort, and their relationship will flourish (Tasker, n.d.).

4. Take a Trip Together

There’s nothing like traveling with someone to work on your communication skills! Making a trip successful requires tons of communication, coordination, and clear expectations, but it can also open you up to fun new experiences and relaxation. To practice communicating with your partner, try planning and taking a trip together.

Plan your trip with a focus on doing things you both like, going to a place you’d both like to visit, and trying new food, activities, and other experiences together. Getting out of your routine and into a novel environment can do wonders for your communication—not to mention your overall mood.

Use some of the other tips and techniques mentioned in this article when you are planning your trip and while you are enjoying your trip; you’re sure to see some improvements to your communication with your partner (Tasker, n.d.).

You can find this exercise at this link , second exercise from the bottom.

5. I Feel (Blank)

The final exercise from Tasker is called “I Feel _____” and it’s a simple one.

We often have trouble sharing our feelings, even (or especially) with those we are closest to. A great way to work on communicating your feelings more often—and more effectively—is to practice saying “I feel (blank).”

The next time you are experiencing strong emotions or discussing a sensitive or difficult subject with your partner, try beginning your sentences with “I feel…” and continue from there. So, if you’re upset with your partner for forgetting about an important appointment or canceling plans at the last minute, instead of saying “You don’t respect my time,” try “I feel like you don’t respect my time.”

Framing your discussion in this manner—as a statement of your feelings rather than a personal attack or blaming session—is not only conducive to greater understanding, it also shows your partner that you care about having a constructive conversation and that your intentions are not to hurt them but to help them see from your perspective.

According to researchers Peterson and Green (2009), family communication is so important because:

“…it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other. Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another.”

The benefits of high-quality communication make spending time on improving the way family members relate to one another a task that is well worth the time spent on it. If you’re interested in working on your communication skills as a family, give the following activities and exercises a try.

These 14 activities are great tools to use in family therapy, but you can also try them at home.

4 Group Exercises for the Family

These four group exercises are a great introduction to communication skill-building as a family. They’re fun, engaging, and good for all ages!

1. What If?

The best time to work on communication skills is when families take the time to just sit and relax together. This simple game is a great way to do that, allowing families to improve how they communicate with one another while laughing together and putting their imagination to good use.

You will need strips of paper, a pencil or pen for each family member, and two bowls.

• Get two slips of paper and something to write with for each family member.
• On the first slip, have each family member write a question off the top of his or her head; it can be silly, serious, or anywhere in between. Put all the questions in one of the bowls and give them a good mix.
• On the second slip of paper, have each family member write an answer to the question they came up with. Place these slips in the second bowl and mix them up.
• Pass each bowl around the room and have each family member take one question slip and one answer slip.
• Have each family member read the question and the answer that they have in their hand. The questions and answers might fit well together or they may result in absurd combinations!
• Continue the game with two more slips of blank paper. It may take a few rounds for everyone to get the hang of the game, but family members will get more comfortable with the game and enjoy it more as they go along.

Use the following questions to guide your discussion as a family:

• Did the activity spark your imagination?
• Why did the questions and answers get funnier after several rounds?

2. Expressing Individuality

Although families usually share values, norms, and beliefs, that doesn’t mean all family members will see things the same way. It can be hard for some family members to communicate their thoughts and feelings when they feel like the odd one out or a “black sheep” in the family.

To make sure your family is a safe space for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings, give the “Expressing Individuality” activity a try. It will help each family member understand that they are a valuable part of the family and that they are always free to share their unique perspective.

You’ll need about an hour for this activity, 15 minutes to make the dough and 45 minutes for the activity itself. Use one of the recipes below to make your own play dough as a family.

If you want to make reusable play dough, mix together:

• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup water (add food coloring to water if you want colored clay)
• 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 tablespoon oil

After mixing these ingredients together, put over low heat and stir slowly. When the dough has formed into a small ball, remove it from the heat and knead while still warm. Store the clay in a sealed container.

If you plan on baking your designs at the end of this activity to preserve them, mix together:

• ½ cup water
• Food coloring (if desired—you can also paint the figures after you bake them)

Follow these instructions to encourage each family member to express their individuality:

• If you love Boy Scouts, you may want to mold the image of a person sitting on a log by a campfire.
• If you received an award as the “Employee of the Month,” you may want to mold the image of something that represents hard work, or dependability.
• If friendliness is a personal characteristic that you value, you may want to mold a face with a pleasant smile, or if you have a great love for animals, you may want to mold several of your favorite animals.
• After creating your unique design, you can preserve it by placing it on a cookie sheet and baking it in the oven on warm for several hours (until hard). This will harden the clay hard so that it maintains its shape. If you did not use food coloring to color the clay, or if you like to paint, you could paint the hardened figure. Once everyone has completed a mold, display these molds in the home.

To continue working on communicating your individuality as a family, ask these questions and discuss your answers together:

• Why did you choose to make what you did?
• What does it mean to you?

If the idea of creating a figure out of play dough doesn’t appeal to you, you can also try these two alternatives:

• You could draw pictures using plain white paper and colored pencils/crayons. Drawing may allow you to express more ideas than if you use clay. Make sure that you do not place an emphasis on artistic abilities. It is okay to draw simple stick figures that represent people or other objects.
• You could cut pictures out of old magazines and paste them on a poster board. After each person has completed a mold, picture, or collage, allow each family member to explain how their collage, picture or mold represents them.

3. Hints of Anger

Anger is a normal human emotion, and we will all get angry at some point. Instead of trying to avoid or deny anger, it’s vital that families learn how to manage their anger and communicate it to others in a healthy way. This activity will help family members identify their anger cues (the signs that indicate they are getting angry) and help them regulate their emotions to ensure they don’t say or do something they will regret.

Here’s how to do this activity as a family:

• Tell family members to think about a time when they were angry or upset, and consider how they felt.
• Were your hands relaxed or clenched in a fist?
• Was your heart rate normal or beating fast?
• Were your muscles relaxed or tight with tension?
• What kind of thoughts was going through your head?
• As a family, discuss any discrepancies between what you think about your anger cues and what other family members think.
• How did your body feel during this period of time?
• In which scenario did you feel more comfortable, angry, or happy?
• Discuss the importance of knowing when you are getting upset and might need to take a break and think.

After the activity, discuss these questions as a family:

• Why is it important to recognize the signs that you are angry?
• Why is it important to control your anger?
• What do you feel like specifically, when you are upset?
• What are the things you are going to do to manage your anger so it does not hurt your family relationships?
• Can recognizing anger cues help in managing your anger?

4. Family Meetings

Family meetings are a good idea for a lot of reasons, but yet another benefit of these get-togethers is the potential for building and developing better communication skills as a family. Regular family meetings can help family members learn how to:

• Make joint decisions
• Plan together
• Accept responsibility
• Show concern for others
• Spend some quality time together

Pick one night of the week when your family can consistently get together for a weekly family meeting that lasts 30 to 60 minutes, and make sure it’s scheduled on everyone’s calendar.

Here’s how to conduct good family meetings:

• Set a regular time. Setting a regular time and place gives the family council a position of importance and results in it becoming a permanent part of family operations. If everyone knows that the family is meeting together regularly, they find that most problems can wait a few days to be discussed. For this reason, some families like weekly meetings.
• Use an agenda. Post a paper during the week where family members can list concerns they want brought up (possibly, the message center). Discuss things in the order listed. This also reduces problems between meetings when parents can say, “List it on the agenda and we’ll discuss it at the meeting.”
• Attendance is voluntary . All members of the family are invited to attend — but attendance is voluntary. However, if a member is not present, he/she is still expected to abide by any decisions made by the family council.
• Each person has an equal voice . Everyone should be encouraged to contribute ideas and suggestions. All members must be treated the same, regardless of age. Using the steps of negotiation to (1) introduce the problem, (2) discuss solutions, and (3) vote on a solution. This gives everyone a chance to be involved. Councils do not always run smoothly. Teenagers are often suspicious that the new program is just another way for parents to gain compliance with their demands. In the first council meetings, rebelliousness may be exhibited to deliberately test whether parents are sincere about including them in family decision-making.
• Use rules of order . If participation is to be equal, then some type of order must be maintained. If a person has the right to express himself, then he also has the right to be heard — which implies that others have the obligation to listen. Rules of order help this situation.
• Rotate chairmanship . If the same person conducts all meetings, that person eventually begins to assume an air of superiority. To help maintain a feeling of equality, family members should take turns conducting the councils. This allows each person to experience the privileges and the responsibilities of this position.
• Accentuate solutions . Family council should not be “just a gripe session” — a time to get together and complain. In order to prevent this, you may decide that the person presenting a problem must also suggest one possible solution. Family members could then discuss alternate solutions or modify the one presented. In practice, some solutions do not work as well as anticipated. As family members begin to live with a decision, they may decide it needs to be changed. This change, however, must wait until the next regular meeting. Children soon recognize a need for better solutions and they learn by experience to make wiser choices. When family council is held regularly, each member learns to project ahead and anticipate problems. When this occurs, the emphasis at council meetings shifts from problem-solving to problem prevention and planning. Family council can also be a time to plan fun things like vacations or family outings. Families can talk about different places to visit and how they want to spend the time available.
• Decide on the authority level . The family council can be the final authority for the family, or a family can have a modified version of decision making. For it to be effective, however, most decisions made by the council need to be binding. If parents always overrule the council, children will soon lose interest.
• Keep a record . There sometimes develops a difference of opinions as to who conducted the last meeting, what matters were discussed, and what plans were agreed upon. For this reason, a secretary to record minutes is most helpful. The secretary can rotate with each meeting.

After your first family meeting, discuss these questions as a family:

• How did your first family meeting go?
• What about the meeting was good? What was bad?
• What do you want to incorporate in future meetings?

4 Active Listening Exercises

Active listening is a vital part of communication and can greatly improve relationships between family members. These four active listening exercises are a great way to boost your skills.

1. Precision Communication

Another activity that can help your family build and continue to develop good communication skills is called “Precision Communication.” It’s focused on active listening, which is a vital part of communication and conducive to better understanding and stronger, healthier relationships.

Here’s how to put this activity into practice:

• Set up a maze in your home using furniture, such as kitchen chairs or other pieces of furniture that can act as a barrier.
• Tie string or yarn between the furniture to create a clear path through the maze.
• Select a family member that will try to walk through the maze blindfolded. This person must not see the maze prior to being blindfolded.
• Have someone give voice instructions so the family member can be directed through the maze.

This activity’s aim is to see if the family member giving instructions can help the blindfolded family member get through the maze without bumping into the furniture, walls, or string. This means that not only must the speaking family member communicate clear and detailed instructions, but the blindfolded family member must also use their active listening skills to receive the instructions and implement them effectively.

Use these discussion questions to debrief and maximize this learning opportunity:

• Why was clear detailed communication necessary for this exercise?
• How important was it to listen carefully to the one giving instructions? Why?
• What were some of the difficulties associated with helping a family member complete this exercise?
• Using some of the ideas from this exercise, how can you, as a family, improve your communication skills?

If you want more from this activity, try this follow-up:

Draw a simple picture or pattern on a piece of paper. Without letting family members see the diagram, tell them what they need to do to make a copy of your picture that matches as closely as possible. After giving detailed instructions, see how accurately the pictures match up.

2. End of the Word—Beginning of the Next

This is a fun game on the Encourage Play website that can keep your kids actively engaged in building their listening skills.

Here’s how to play:

• One person (probably an adult) starts the game by giving out one word—it can be any word, it just needs to be one that every family member knows how to spell.
• The next family member must listen to the word the previous person said, then come up with a word that starts with the letter the last word ended with.

This is an easy game to play since you don’t need any materials, just a few minutes and the ability to hear one another! That makes it a great game for car rides, waiting in restaurants, or standing in a long line. To make it more challenging, give it a bit of complexity by limiting the words to a category, like animals or cities.

3. Red Light Green Light

Another exercise from the Encourage Play website is a familiar one. It’s based on the classic “Red Light, Green Light” game in which the leader gives instructions by color: saying “red light” means stop and saying “green light” means go.

To make the game a bit more challenging and really emphasize the importance of active listening, incorporate these three variations to the game:

• Different colors refer to different types of movement; for example, yellow light could mean skipping, purple light could mean crab walking, and blue light could mean hopping.
• Pretend to be a different animal for different colors (yellow = lion, green = bunny, purple = frog, etc.).
• Use words that rhyme with red or green to see if the players catch the difference (e.g., “Bread Light! Teen Light!”).

4. Tell a Group Story

Group stories are a great way to practice active listening with the whole family. It also gives kids a chance to be creative and silly, which helps to keep them engaged in the activity.

• The first person (probably an adult) starts a story with just one sentence (e.g., “Once upon a time, there was a very curious brown bunny”).
• The next person adds onto the story with just one sentence as well (e.g., “This bunny lived with her mother and father in a cozy little burrow under a willow tree”).
• The story continues until everyone has contributed at least a couple of sentences to the story.

This activity boosts active listening skills because it requires careful and attentive listening to what has already been said in order to make a good contribution to the story.

3 Assertive Communication Exercises

One of the best skills to teach your kids is how to be assertive instead of aggressive or passive (or passive-aggressive). Use these three assertive communication activities to help them learn this important skill.

1. Assertive Communication Worksheet

This worksheet is a great way to help older kids understand the difference between types of communication and to learn how to communicate assertively.

The worksheet first provides a good working definition of assertive communication:

“A communication style in which a person stands up for their own needs and wants, while also taking into consideration the needs and wants of others, without behaving passively or aggressively.”

It also outlines the traits of people who are assertive communicators, including:

• Clearly state needs and wants
• Eye contact
• Listens to others without interruption
• Appropriate speaking volume
• Steady tone of voice
• Confident body language

Next, it shares four tips on communicating assertively:

• Respect yourself—your wants and needs are as important as everyone else’s.
• Express your thought and feelings calmly rather than using the silent treatment or yelling and threatening.
• Plan out what you’re going to say before you say it.
• Say “no” when you need to, say it clearly, and do it without lying.

After some examples of assertive communication, we get to the active part of the worksheet. It’s geared toward adults, but the scenarios can be tweaked to fit kids as well.

There are four situations presented and space to write out your own assertive response to each. These situations are:

• Your partner says, “ I know you have plans for the weekend, but I really need you to watch the kids. I have a friend coming to town, and we made plans .”
• Situation: You’ve just received your food at a restaurant, and it was prepared incorrectly. Your sandwich seems to have extra mayo, instead of no mayo.
• Your friend says, “ Hey, can I borrow some money? I want to buy these shoes, but I left my wallet at home. I’ll pay you back soon, I swear. It won’t be like last time .”
• Situation: Your neighbor is adding an expansion to their house, and the crew starts working, very loudly, at 5 am. It has woken you up every day for a week.

Working through these scenarios as a family can help your kids see what healthy assertive communication looks like and show them that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.

2. The Aggressive Alligator

The Aggressive Alligator is a great tool from Kristina Marcelli-Sargent, for teaching assertiveness over-aggressiveness or passiveness. It makes what can be a dry and boring subject more interesting and engaging.

Start by giving simple definitions to the terms “passive,” “aggressive,” and “assertive.” Next, show them a list of animals or a bin of small stuffed animals and allow them to choose an animal that they feel represents each definition. The aggressive animal doesn’t need to be an alligator, it can be anything that makes sense to your children.

After your kids have chosen an animal for each term, describe some social situations and instruct your kids to act them out with their animals. Each animal should act according to the definition it represents (e.g., the aggressive alligator should act aggressively, the passive panda should act passively, and the assertive anteater should act assertively).

Once all scenarios have been acted out, talk to your kids about how the outcomes differed between the three animals. Point out which one(s) resulted in a positive outcome and which one(s) should probably be avoided. In the future, you can refer back to the assertive anteater to remind your kids to be assertive instead of passive or aggressive (Sargent, 2015).

3. Keeping Cool

A great lesson for kids to learn is that assertive communication is about being firm and direct without being angry or upset. This activity will help you teach healthy assertiveness to your kids or students.

Here’s how to go about it:

• First, ask your kids how people might feel when they are bullied. If they have trouble coming up with answers, talk about how people might feel angry, scared, sad, upset, embarrassed, or confused.
• Next, ask your kids what kinds of things people want to do when they feel this way. If they can’t think of things people might do when they feel upset, angry, or sad, mention that they might yell, throw something, hit something, hide, cry, or do something else to make another person feel as bad as they feel.
• Ask your kids if they think these are good or helpful things to do. Explain how everyone has strong, negative feelings like this sometimes, and that it’s okay to feel them. These feelings have a purpose; they tell us that something is wrong or that something needs to be fixed, but they can also encourage us to do the wrong thing unless we learn how to keep a cool head.
• Close your eyes and take several slow deep breaths
• Count to ten
• Relax the muscles in your face and body
• Talk silently to yourself and repeat a soothing phrase, such as “Keep calm” or “I control my feelings”
• Get a drink of water
• Go sit by a person you trust

Discuss these options with the whole group and decide together on what the best techniques are, then practice using them together.

Click here to read about this exercise from the Education Development Center’s Bullying Prevention program.

3 Nonverbal Communication Exercises

Finally, although verbal communication is generally the focus of skill-building exercises and activities, nonverbal communication is also a vital skill to develop.

Use these 3 exercises to help your kids build their nonverbal skills.

1. Understanding Non-Verbal Communication

Things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body posture, and hand gestures are all non-verbal, but they are hugely important in our communication with others. If we say one thing with our words and another with our face or body, we can end up giving mixed messages and confusing others.

To make sure we are saying what we want to say with our words and our face, body, and tone, help your kids learn how to understand and “speak” non-verbal communications.

Here’s s description of this activity:

“As a family, make a list of different non-verbal actions. For example, folding your arms, snorting, frowning, etc… Select a TV program or a segment of a video. Watch about 5 to 7 minutes of the program with the volume off. While watching the program without volume, identify the different non-verbal messages, especially the feelings that are expressed. After 5 to 7 minutes, turn off the TV and discuss what you observed. You could even carry on the discussion as the program continues.”

To get the discussion started, use questions like:

• What were the non-verbal messages that you observed?
• How important do you think the non-verbal messages are in helping you to enjoy the movie and understand what was going on in the movie?
• Did you observe any confusing non-verbal messages?
• What feelings were expressed through non-verbal communication?
• What were some of the difficulties of this activity?
• What can you do to be more aware of non-verbal messages?
• Did everyone think the non-verbal message meant the same thing?
• Are non-verbal messages always obvious in real life?

If you want more from this exercise, try this follow-up activity. Seat two family members away from each other and have them carry on a conversation about giving directions to somewhere or explaining how to do something. As they talk, they should focus on trying to understand the other person’s feelings.

After doing this for a few minutes, the two should turn around, face each other, and continue the discussion—they will likely find it much easier!

Use the following questions to guide your discussion after the follow-up:

• When you had your backs to each other, did a lack of non-verbal communication affect your ability to communicate with the other person? If so, how?
• What feelings did you experience as you communicated with your back to the other person?
• When you spoke to the other person face-to-face, did this improve your ability to communicate and understand the other person’s feelings? If so, how?
• Did face-to-face communication improve your ability to understand the other person’s feelings?
• How can you increase your awareness of non-verbal messages you do not mean to be sending?
• How can you be aware of how we may misinterpret someone else’s non-verbal messages?”

2. Charades

Charades is a popular game with kids since it’s fun, easy to play, and can result in some seriously silly situations.

Here’s what you need to do:

• Animals: Monkey, dog, cat, rabbit, kangaroo, snake
• Activities: brushing teeth, playing cards, shining a flashlight, fishing, playing frisbee
• Emotions: scared, sad, bored, angry, happy, wary, proud

Acting out these prompts will give kids an opportunity to practice communicating non-verbally, a skill that they can easily build over time (Simmons, n.d.).

This nonverbal communication activity  is available from Sue Simmons at Equinox Family Consulting.

3. Silent Snack

Finally, another activity from Sue Simmons is called “ Silent Snack ” and it gives young children a chance to have fun while building their nonverbal communication skills.

Follow these instructions to give it a try:

• Put out a few different snacks in individual bowls.
• Tell everyone it’s “Silent Snack Time,” meaning there’s no talking allowed!
• Offer each person a taste of each snack.
• Each player should take turns sharing their opinion on each snack. They can use indicators like thumbs up and thumbs down or facial expressions to communicate their opinions.

It’s a simple activity, but an effective one! Give it a try at your next snack time.

17 Exercises To Develop Positive Communication

17 Positive Communication Exercises [PDFs] to help others develop communication skills for successful social interactions and positive, fulfilling relationships.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

I hope you leave this piece with a treasure trove of new resources you can use to improve your own life or the lives of your clients.

Communication skills are one of the most important skills a person can have, making it well worth your while to devote some time and energy to develop them.

What are your favorite ways to work on communicating with your spouse? Do you schedule a time to talk about how your relationship is doing or do you just let it flow naturally? What do you think are the best ways to build, enhance, and maintain your communication skills? Let us know in the comments section.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free .

• Abass, S. (n.d.). 3 benefits of effective communication in a relationship. Lifehack. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/509189/3-benefits-effective-communication-relationship
• https://defeatingdivorce.com/communication-exercises-for-couples/
• Fleming, G. (2018). 4 helpful nonverbal communication activities. ThoughtCo. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/nonverbal-communication-activities-1857230
• Heitler, S. (2010). What does communication have to do with a good relationship? GoodTherapy. Retrieved from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-does-communication-have-to-do-with-good-relationship
• Lee, T. R., & Pyfer, T. (n.d.). Helping youth succeed: Strengthening family ties: A workbook of activities designed to strengthen family relationships . Utah State University Extension. Retrieved from https://www.families-first.net/uploads/userfiles/files/FL_Youth_02.pdf
• Mendler, A. (2013). Teaching your students how to have a conversation. Edutopia. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/blog/teaching-your-students-conversation-allen-mendler
• Norman, B. (2018). Trainers’ tips: Active listening exercises. Training Zone . Retrieved from https://www.trainingzone.co.uk/develop/cpd/trainers-tips-active-listening-exercises
• Peterson, R., & Green, S. (2009). Helping Youth Succeed: Keys to successful family functioning: Communication . Virginia Cooperative Extension. Retrieved from https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/content/dam/pubs_ext_vt_edu/350/350-092/350-092_pdf.pdf
• Reichmann, D. (n.d.). 5 communication games guaranteed to bring you closer. Engaged Marriage . Retrieved from https://www.engagedmarriage.com/5-communication-games/
• Rosenberg, M. B. (1999). Nonviolent communication: A language of compassion. Del Mar.
• Sargent, K. M. (2015). The aggressive alligator: Fun ways to teach assertiveness to children. Art of Social Work . Retrieved from https://kristinamarcelli.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/the-aggressive-alligator-fun-ways-to-teach-assertiveness-to-children/
• Simmons, S. (n.d.). Nonverbal games: 10 simple activities . Equinox Family Consulting, Ltd. Retrieved from https://equinoxfamilyconsulting.com/communication/nonverbal-games-10-simple-activities/
• Stanfield, J. (2017). 8 tips to teach effective communication skills. James Stanfield. Retrieved from https://stanfield.com/blog/2017/11/8-tips-teach-effective-communication-skills/
• Sott, A. (2018). Teaching communication skills. Edutopia. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/article/teaching-communication-skills
• Tasker, R. (n.d.). 6 amazing couples therapy exercises for improving communication . GuideDoc . Retrieved from https://guidedoc.com/couples-therapy-exercises-for-improving-communication
• Victoria Department of Health & Human Services. (n.d.). Relationships and communications . Better Health Channel. Retrieved from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication

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What is nonverbal communication? 10 different types (with examples)

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What is nonverbal communication?

10 types of nonverbal communication, examples of nonverbal communication, why is nonverbal communication so important, 5 tips for understanding nonverbal communication, how to improve nonverbal communication, enjoy better interactions.

We all rely on nonverbal communication. This is true whether playing a game of charades with your family or trying to show confidence during an important interview .

There’s a reason many of us prefer face-to-face communication over phone calls. Without seeing someone’s facial expressions, posture, and body language , it can be hard to read their feelings. 

Nonverbal cues are just as important as verbalization. Nonverbal actions are key for communicating with and understanding everyone in your life. 

Understanding every type of nonverbal communication can also help your career. You can show your confidence, passion, and expertise through small nonverbal communication cues. This is true whether leading a team meeting or delivering a presentation .  

There are two primary forms of communication: verbal and nonverbal.

Verbal communication uses words to convey a message, whether that’s orally or in writing. 

Posture, facial expressions, and eye contact are examples of nonverbal messages . We all use these cues in daily conversation, even involuntarily. Nonverbal communication also involves the way we present ourselves to others. If you walk into a meeting with your back straight and your head held high, you exude power and confidence. You project nervousness and uncertainty if you’re slumped over with your eyes on the floor.

Experts believe that approximately 70% of all human communication is nonverbal , meaning we only deliver about 30% of our messages with words.  

Austrian-American author and educator Peter Drucker had it right when he said, “ The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said. ” 

We all perform and respond to nonverbal communication — and what we understand that no one says — daily. 

Here are 10 of the most common forms of nonverbal communication:

1. Facial expressions

The look on an individual’s face is often the first thing we see. A smile, frown, or grimace tells a lot about their mood and how the subsequent conversation will go. Expressions of happiness, sadness, anger and fear are universal emotions and key forms of nonverbal communication.

2. Kinesics

Kinesics, or gestures, are conscious body movements like waving, pointing, and giving a thumbs up or down. One's culture typically determines what gestures are socially acceptable and which are rude. 

For example, in Westernized countries, glancing at your watch suggests, “I need to be somewhere.” In contrast, many Middle Eastern populations consider this rude. They are more likely to believe a conversation should continue until it ends naturally.

3. Paralinguistics

Paralinguistic s (or vocalics)  refers to the aspects of verbal communication that aren’t the words themselves . Your tone of voice, loudness, and pitch are common aspects of paralanguage. 

This type of communication is powerful since altering your voice changes the meaning of a sentence. Think about all the ways you can use the phrase “I’m fine.” If you say it quietly, you might be feeling dejected, but if you say it forcefully, someone might detect your defensiveness.

4. Body language and posture

Crossing your legs or arms, a head nod, slouching, or sitting up straight are all examples of true body language. For example, you may have seen crime films focus on body language to further the narrative. It can also hint at what isn’t included in the dialogue.  

However, this type of nonverbal communication is complex and quite subtle. Just because you observe a movement doesn’t guarantee you understand the meaning.

5. Proxemics

Proximity references how near something is. Human beings take personal space seriously. They also interpret physical distances in interactions differently.

Social and cultural expectations, personal preferences, and relationships all determine the suitable proximity. For example, if you’re in a relationship with someone, you’d expect to sit close together on the couch. On the other hand, you likely wouldn’t sit that close to a coworker. 

Proxemics is an important part of interpersonal communication. Noticing when to adjust your closeness for each situation ensures you’re not making people uncomfortable. 

Scientists focused on proximity biases in North America have grouped expected space as follows :

• Intimate space: Close physical contact up to 18 inches of space, typically shared between people in an intimate relationship. 
• Personal space: Between 18 inches to 4 feet depending on whether you’re speaking to a stranger, casual acquaintance, or close friend. 
• Social space: 4 –12 feet of space provided in social settings, like a shared office space or the distance between a presenter and their audience.
• Public space: 12 feet or more, typically observed in shopping malls and airports.

It may sound cliche, but it’s true that “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”  Our eye contact is a massive factor in nonverbal communication because it can give clues to how we feel. 

When we’re scared, our pupils dilate due to a surge in adrenaline. When something excites us, we blink rapidly. Maintaining eye contact generally means that someone is comfortable and telling the truth. In contrast, avoiding eye contact might suggest that they’re nervous or hiding something.

Communication by touch is called haptics. Touch is powerful because our emotions drive it. Our social class, gender, and, of course, our upbringing all determine how we respond to touch. Women generally use touch to convey care and concern, while men are more likely to convey control. 

Psychologist Harry Harlow made a career in studying the impacts of touch on rhesus monkeys. Monkeys who were raised without physical contact from their mothers struggled with social interactions . We share this affect with our ancestors — physical contact at a young age improves our social skills when we're older.

8. Appearance

Your appearance is another thing people notice immediately. Your hairstyle, clothing, tattoos, piercings, and even body shape give off cues. This can encourage snap judgments from other people. There’s a reason your mother always told you to “dress to impress” for a presentation at school or a job interview.

9. Chronemics

Chronemics is the role time plays during communication. How people interpret time can be personal, cultural, or have to do with their power or status. 

Have you ever waited around for a friend to show up for an event? Maybe you felt annoyed or disrespected by their laziness or lack of time management . Now imagine if your boss showed up 15 minutes late to a meeting. You might be more understanding of their busy schedule. 

10. Physiological responses

Your body naturally sends out nonverbal signals that are nearly impossible to control. This includes nervous sweating, blushing, or tearing up.

Here are a few ways to practice your nonverbal communication skills personally and professionally: 

In the workplace

Tone: Use your voice to show excitement, positivity, and contentment with your work. Managers want demonstrably engaged workers. Plus, your positivity will likely rub off on coworkers. 

Distance: Maintain an appropriate distance from coworkers to respect their boundaries . Remember, an office is a professional space. Even if you enjoy comfortable work relationships , you should always respect someone’s physical boundaries . 

Posture: You got the job. You belong here . Your ideas matter. Stand up straight and speak with your head held high. 

In your personal life

Distance: Leaning in when your loved one speaks shows you’re actively listening .

Concentration: Put away distractions like video games or phones when spending time with loved ones. This shows you’re paying attention and offering them quality time. 

Touch: Hugs, hand-holding, and other forms of physical touch foster intimacy between consensual parties.

Here are four reasons why understanding nonverbal messaging matters:

1. Builds trust and clarity

Nonverbal signals are far more subtle than words, but they’re no less important.

Facial expressions, body posture, and eye contact reveal the meaning behind what someone is saying, their true feelings, and if they’re listening to your half of the conversation. Someone may be able to feign interest with their words, but their body language will often reveal if they’re paying attention. 

2. Bridges language gaps

Ever tried to interact with someone that didn’t speak your language? There was probably a lot of gesturing, facial expressions, and posturing — your nonverbal communication skills at work.

Outside of conversational cues, nonverbal behaviors are crucial to bridge language gaps. When two people don’t speak the same language, body language can help foster knowledge and understanding. 

3. Encourages inclusivity

Everybody has different communication abilities. Learning nonverbal communication skills can help create a more diverse and inclusive workplace. 

For example, people with hearing impairments might struggle to pick up on voice tone or speed. Understanding how to interpret and express nonverbal messages makes these individuals feel included and understood. 

4. Leads to success

Non-verbal communication skills can help your career. For example, teachers with these skills see more success with their students. When talking with your boss, coworkers, and clients, you can use non-verbal communication to gain a competitive edge.

Effective communication requires nonverbal messaging. Understanding the types of nonverbal communication will help you connect with people in every area of your life.

The more you practice reading cues, the better you’ll become. Some things you can do include:

1. Pay attention to inconsistencies

Nonverbal communication can either reinforce or discourage what someone is saying. Do a person’s facial expressions match their words? Their tone of voice? If they do, then great.

They’re most likely being honest about whatever they’re saying. If it’s the opposite, they may be trying to hide how they truly feel. 

2. Look at nonverbal signals as a whole

If you’re only paying attention to someone’s posture, you might miss a whole bunch of other clues. Nonverbal signals work in tandem to generate a complete picture of another human being.

3. Trust your instincts

Go with your gut . Your instincts are there to help guide and protect you about what someone is saying and what they truly mean.

4. Practice emotional awareness

Emotional intelligence is a significant part of navigating relationships. Being emotionally aware h elps you interpret people more accurately.

When you can read other people’s emotions and unspoken messages, you can reciprocate communication by responding in a way that shows you understand and care.

5. Don’t make assumptions

Nonverbal communication is nuanced and involves personal and cultural meaning. Don’t assume a person’s tone or body language is definitively what you think it is.

Someone might avoid eye contact because they’re shy, not deceptive. They may slouch because they’re stressed out , not doubtful of their work. If you can’t read the person’s body language, ask them how they feel.

Nonverbal communication is a necessary factor at home, work, and beyond. Often, these signals occur rapidly. Interpreting or noticing all of them can be challenging during a single conversation.

Fortunately, there's always room to improve upon these skills. To do so, try focusing on the below.

Manage stress

When we’re stressed , we can’t communicate as effectively. How you’re feeling rubs off on others, too. Take some deep breaths to relax and refocus. You’ll feel better, and you’ll be able to read people more accurately.  

Pay attention to your behaviors

To learn to communicate more effectively and develop stronger emotional awareness , you must understand your nonverbal communication habits. Learning your cues will also increase self-awareness . You’ll be more in tune with your feelings and be better able to express yourself.

Think before you act

Do you raise your voice when stressed or avoid eye contact when nervous? A great way to adjust nonverbal behaviors you don’t want is to think before you act. Notice situations that cause problematic behaviors and practice taking a deep breath before reacting. 

Nonverbal communication plays a prominent role in our personal and professional lives. Person-to-person contact will almost always involve some type of nonverbal communication.

Now, you know how to interpret nonverbal cues and express yourself more authentically through them. Congratulations on beginning the journey toward healthier, happier interactions.

Enhance your communication skills

Discover how personal coaching can elevate your nonverbal communication and boost interaction effectiveness.

Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

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Difference Between Verbal and Non-verbal Communication

Verbal and non-verbal communication are two important forms of human interaction which are playing key roles in expressing messages, emotions, and thoughts. Verbal communication is the spoken or written words to express the information. Non-verbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, gestures, and visuals to communicate without using words. Both are fundamental ways of communication among human individuals for interaction used to express ideas.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

Table of Content

Verbal communication, non-verbal communication, tabular difference between verbal and non-verbal communication, similarities, frequently asked questions.

Verbal communication is the use of language in spoken or written form for the exchange of information, ideas, and emotions. It depends on words, syntax, grammar, and vocabulary for communication. Verbal communication can be direct or indirect, formal and informal, it may be different in tone and pitch which influences how the message is perceived.

Characteristics of Verbal Communication

• Involves spoken or written words.
• Provides precise and detailed information.
• Allows for immediate and direct feedback.
• Influenced by language and dialect.
• Dominant in formal communication settings.
• Can be hindered by language barriers.
• Suitable for conveying complex ideas.
• Emotions are expressed through words.
• Communication speed can be faster for conveying information.

Non-verbal communication includes all types of communication without using words. It includes hand gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, body language and voice tone. Non-verbal communication can convey emotions stronger than words way.

Characteristics of Non-verbal Communication

• Involves gestures, body language, facial expressions, and visual cues.
• Provides emotional depth and context to messages.
• Feedback is often subtle, indirect, or delayed.
• Can have cultural universality in some expressions.
• Crucial in conveying emotions and attitudes, especially in emotional situations.
• Overcomes language barriers.
• Supplements, reinforces, or contradicts verbal messages.
• Emotions are often displayed non-verbally.
• Non-verbal cues can be interpreted quickly.

Purpose: Both verbal and non-verbal communication are aimed to convey emotions, information and intentions among different individuals.

Contextual: Both forms of communication are influenced by cultural norms, social ways and relationship between the communicators.

Subjectivity: They can be interpreted and meaning may vary based on the receiver’s perception and understanding.

Feedback: Verbal and non-verbal communication will possess responses and feedback from the receiver, allowing to interact.

Expressiveness: Both verbal and non-verbal communication had strong forms of expressing emotions, feelings and attitudes helps in improving the message totally

In summary, verbal and non-verbal communication are two important forms for the human interaction which are playing key roles in expressing the messages, emotions and thoughts. Verbal communication is the spoken or written words to express the information. Non-verbal communication is body language, facial expressions, gestures and visual to communicate without using words. Both are fundamental way of communication among human individuals for interaction used to express ideas.

What is verbal communication?

Verbal communication is the use of language by spoken or written form for exchange of information, ideas and emotions.

What is non-verbal communication?

Non-verbal communication includes all types of communication without using words. It includes hand gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, body language and voice tone.

What is the similarity among verbal communication and non-verbal communication?

Both verbal and non-verbal communication had strong forms of expressing emotions, feelings and attitudes helps in improving the message totally.

What is the medium of non-verbal communication?

Body language, facial expressions, gestures, etc.

Write any 3 characteristics of Verbal communication?

Involves spoken or written words. Provides precise and detailed information. Allows for immediate and direct feedback.

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Communication skills 3: non-verbal communication

15 January, 2018 By NT Contributor

This article, the third of a six-part series on communication skills, discusses body language and non-verbal communication

It is impossible not to communicate in an interaction, and non-verbal communication can sometimes be more powerful than words. Our body language may betray what we really think or feel, but it can also be used as a positive tool by nurses to reinforce the spoken word and help you understand how a patient really feels. This third part in our six-part series on communication looks at verbal and non-verbal communication and their unintended consequences.

Citation: Ali M (2018) Communication skills 3: non-verbal communication. Nursing Times [online]; 114, 2, 41-42.

Author: Moi Ali is a communications consultant; board member of the Scottish Ambulance Service and of the Professional Standards Authority for Health and Care and former vice-president of the Nursing and Midwifery Council.

• This article has been double-blind peer reviewed
• Scroll down to read the article or download a print-friendly PDF here
• Click here to see other articles in this series
• Read Moi Ali’s comment

Introduction

It is impossible not to communicate in an interaction. Even when silent, we transmit messages – deliberately and accidentally. The nurse who stands when a patient enters a room and steps forward with a welcoming smile is in stark contrast to the colleague who remains behind a desk looking at the patient’s notes.

The Nursing and Midwifery Council’s Code (NMC, 2015) identifies non-verbal communication as a tool, stating that nurses should: “use a range of verbal and non-verbal communication methods, and consider cultural sensitivities, to better understand and respond to people’s personal and health needs”.

Verbal communication

Verbal communication includes what we speak or write, and also how something is said: whether the tone or volume matches the message; whether friendly words are said in an irritable pitch or one word or phrase is emphasised above others. Tone, pitch, volume, pauses, fluency and speed of speech consciously or unconsciously add additional meaning to words.

Face-to-face communication involves an interaction between spoken words and body language. The listener ‘decodes’ these, resulting in the receipt of intended and unintended messages. In your interactions, you will ‘read’ patients and interpret what is said and what is meant, in conjunction with body language and other non-verbal signs. Patients in turn will ‘read’ you – consciously or unconsciously.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication is primarily about body language, but other factors such as the layout or decoration of a room, or someone’s clothing or appearance, can also communicate messages. A warm and restful waiting area communicates a welcoming message; an untidy, uncomfortable reception room may do the opposite.

Body language is a complex interplay of factors including:

• Position: how we position our bodies (folding arms or inclining the head) and where we position ourselves in relation to others;
• Facial expression: smiles, frowns and raised eyebrows;
• Eye contact: whether we look at others, and how we do it (staring; looking away, sideways or over someone’s shoulder);
• Touch: how and where we touch ourselves, others, and objects (spectacles, clothing or pens);
• Physical reactions: perspiring, blushing or breathing rapidly.

Each encounter is unique and the effect of non-verbal communication will be individual to each situation. It may be affected by:

• How one is regarded: people may be more tolerant of negative body language from a person who is seen as brusque than one who is usually kind and helpful;
• The recipient’s sensitivities: some people are more sensitive than others and sensitivities may change according to the situation;
• The situation: there might be greater sensitivity to non-verbal communication in emotionally charged situations, such as in A&E.

Non-verbal communication can:

• Supplement spoken communication;
• Reinforce or substitute a spoken message:
• Undermine communication: for example when non-verbal cues contradict spoken words.

Research has shown a relationship between non-verbal behaviour and patients’ perceptions of clinicians’ empathy. Montague et al (2013) found that eye contact and social touch (a handshake or pat on the back) made patients see health professionals as more empathetic. Other studies have also found that moderate, appropriate eye contact boosted patient ratings of rapport (Harrigan et al, 1985). Montague et al (2013) concluded that clinical environments should be designed to facilitate positive non-verbal interactions such as eye contact and social touch.

Using body language

It is important to understand body language and use it to:

• Aid communication;
• Avoid unconscious messages;
• Decode and react appropriately to other people’s visual cues.

Body language is a positive tool to reinforce the spoken word and can help you to understand how people really feel. A patient who claims to be fine may display body language indicating the opposite, or sit in a way that suggests pain or discomfort. Being alert to body language enables you to probe a little deeper, rather than simply accepting verbal responses at face value. Reading a patient’s body language can be as important as observing clinical symptoms (Box 1).

Box 1. Tips on body language

• Avoid poor posture (slumped shoulders suggest a lack of confidence, which may undermine professional credibility)
• Use positive body language: smiling when greeting someone; and making appropriate eye contact
• Avoid glancing at the clock/your phone or towards the door – it suggests you wish to bring a conversation to an end. If you need to leave, or draw a session to a close, use words: “I’m sorry, but we have run out of time for this week…” (consider setting expectations at the outset: “We need to finish by 2pm today.”)
• Remember, someone biting their lip may be anxious, or just concentrating. Ask open questions to confirm: “How are you feeling?”

Misreading body language

Be aware of misinterpreting body language or relying on it as your sole source of information. Check for disparities between what is said and what you observe. It is important to triangulate information from different sources to form a holistic picture by listening to what patients say and considering what you know about them. Look at clusters or combinations of behaviours rather than a single indicator (Borg, 2013). A sweating patient may be nervous – or just hot or experiencing symptoms of the menopause. It might be safer to conclude it is nerves if the sweating is combined with hand-wringing and poor eye contact.

Cultural differences

How close people stand or sit varies across cultures. Proxemics codifies personal space into distinct ‘distance zones’ depending on the nature of the relationship: intimate, personal, social and public. Commonly we let sexual partners and close friends get closer to us physically than we would allow strangers (although in crowded situations we may tolerate strangers being closer than we would otherwise).

Discomfort occurs when our personal space is ‘invaded,’ or when we feel the distance is inappropriately large. In clinical situations, you may need to enter a patient’s personal or intimate zone, creating discomfort or embarrassment regardless of any cultural differences. Be sensitive to this. Consider acknowledging how normal that feeling is: “No one likes this, but it won’t take long”.

In some cultures, direct eye contact is considered rude; averting the eyes may indicate respect rather than shiftiness or untruthfulness. Some people with conditions such as Asperger’s may find eye contact uncomfortable and will keep their eyes down, or focus on something other than the speaker. Body language may vary across different age groups and according to gender, but basic human emotions tend to share universal facial expressions regardless of culture, age or social class. Consider asking permission before touching a patient, even for task-related touching such as taking blood pressure or pulse.

Non-verbal messages can be more powerful than words. As a nurse, observing patients’ body language can be as important as looking out for clinical symptoms. To be a truly effective communicator, learn how to keep your own body language in check, and how to read patients’ body language (Box 2).

Box 2. Reflection

During your next shift:

• Be conscious of your body language
• Notice how much eye contact you make
• Consider whether this is appropriate
• Reflect on whether you avoid eye contact in some situations (such as when nervous or talking to senior colleagues)
• Consider why and reflect on how you can address this
• Verbal communication includes the written and spoken word
• Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact and posture
• Body language can enhance or detract from communication with patients
• Observing patients’ body language can provide important cues to how they are feeling
• It is important to reflect on verbal and non-verbal communication skills and how these affect relationships with patients

Also in this series

• Communication skills 1: benefits of effective communication for patients
• Communication skills 2: overcoming the barriers to effective communication
• Communication 4: the influence of appearance and environment
• Communication 5: effective listening and observation skills
• Communication skills 6: difficult and challenging conversations

Related files

180117 communication skills 3 non verbal communication.

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The power of body language: non-verbal communication across cultures.

Have you ever wondered what your body is saying when your mouth is silent? Your body language speaks volumes whether you’re aware of it or not. From a friendly wave to a firm handshake, non-verbal communication is a powerful tool that transcends spoken words. But did you know that non-verbal communication can mean different things in different cultures ? Let’s dive into the fascinating world of non-verbal communication and explore how body language varies across the globe.

What Is Body Language?

Body language refers to the non-verbal signals we use to communicate. These include gestures, facial expressions, posture, and eye contact. Even the way we stand or move can send messages to those around us. Understanding non-verbal communication can help us connect better with others, whether we’re in our home country or traveling abroad.

Common Types of Body Language

Here are some common forms of non-verbal cues and what they typically mean:

• Gestures : Waving, pointing, and using hands while talking.
• Facial Expressions : Smiling, frowning, and raising eyebrows.
• Posture : Standing straight or slouching.
• Eye Contact : Making direct eye contact or looking away.

The Importance of Body Language

Body language plays a crucial role in communication. Studies show that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal, with body language making up a significant part of it. This means that how you say something can be just as important as what you say.

Enhancing Communication

Using positive body language can make your interactions more engaging and effective. For example, maintaining eye contact shows that you’re interested and paying attention. Smiling can create a friendly atmosphere while nodding your head can indicate agreement and understanding.

Avoiding Misunderstandings

Being aware of non-verbal cues can also help you avoid misunderstandings. For instance, crossing your arms might be seen as a defensive gesture, even if you’re feeling cold. Understanding how your non-verbal communication is perceived can improve your relationships and interactions.

Body Language Around the World

Body language isn’t universal. What might be considered polite or friendly in one culture could be rude or confusing in another. Let’s take a look at some examples of how body language varies across different cultures.

• United States : A firm handshake is a common greeting, symbolizing confidence and respect.
• Japan : Bowing is the traditional way to greet someone, with the depth of the bow showing the level of respect.
• France : People often greet each other with a light kiss on both cheeks, known as “la bise.”

Eye Contact

• Western Cultures : Direct eye contact is often seen as a sign of confidence and honesty.
• East Asian Cultures : Prolonged eye contact can be considered rude or confrontational.
• Middle Eastern Cultures : Eye contact is important, but it should be balanced to show respect.

Hand Gestures

• Thumbs Up : A thumbs up is a sign of approval in the United States and many other countries. However, in some Middle Eastern and Asian countries, it can be an offensive gesture.
• OK Sign : Making a circle with your thumb and forefinger is a positive gesture in many cultures, but it can be an insult in Brazil and Turkey.
• Pointing : Pointing with one finger is common in the United States, but in many Asian countries, it’s more polite to point with the whole hand.

Tips for Understanding and Using Body Language

Navigating the world of non-verbal cues can be tricky, especially when you’re in a different culture. Here are some tips to help you understand and use body language effectively:

Observe and Adapt

When you’re in a new culture, take the time to observe how people use non-verbal cues. Pay attention to their gestures, expressions, and interactions. Try to adapt your own non-verbal communication to match theirs, showing respect and a willingness to connect.

Ask and Learn

Don’t be afraid to ask locals about their customs and what certain gestures mean. People often appreciate your interest in their culture and are usually happy to help you understand.

Be Mindful of Your Own Non-Verbal Cues

Remember that your non-verbal cues might be sending unintended messages. Be mindful of your gestures and expressions, especially in unfamiliar settings. When in doubt, opt for neutral and friendly body language.

Final Thoughts

Non-verbal communication is a powerful form of communication that can enhance our interactions and help us connect with people from different cultures. By understanding the nuances of non-verbal communication and being mindful of cultural differences, we can navigate the world with greater ease and respect. So, the next time you’re in a new place, remember that your body can speak just as loudly as your words.

Seldean is a multi-skilled content wizard that dedicates herself to writing content that goes beyond merely sparking interest in the audience.

Seldean Smith

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